Letters
by Morgaine
Summary: Another Trunks/Goten fic. Yaoi. If you don't like it don't read it. Extreme Angst Alert!
1. Default Chapter

READ FIRST!!!  
Ok peeps here's a story I've been working on lately and I thought I'd post  
the prologue to see what people think. FIRST OFF this is an A/U fic, and I  
do apologize if any of them are OOC, I have a good reason, see we haven't   
got that far in the show here (haven't even finished the Cell Saga) so I   
don't really know how Trunks and Goten act...although I have a pretty good  
idea. Anyway I just thought I'd give you fair warning now...aren't I a nice  
person :)  
  
Warning: this is a Yaoi fic! if you don't like Yaoi don't read. You've been  
warned.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I'm not that lucky :) anyway please  
don't sue me.  
  
  
  
  
"Goten can we talk about something?"   
I could hear the seriousness in his voice and I began to worry. It's so   
unlike Trunks to be so serious around me, his family yes, but he's usually  
so comfortable around me. I watched his broad form sit in the shade under  
our favorite oak tree, little gaps of sunlight grazing his olive skin   
causing little beads of sweat to glisten like crystal. He brought his knees  
to his chest and hugged them tightly, as though they could ease some of   
the tension building in his chest. I wish he would let me ease whatever pain  
he was feeling, to just hold him and let him know I love him, but he's my best  
friend and only thinks of me as such. I swallowed the lump in my throat and   
crossed over towards him, sitting next to him in the shade. I leaned my head  
against his shoulder and I could feel his muscles tense under my cheek.   
"What is it Trunks?" It was hard, being so close to him and not wrapping my  
arms around his slim waist. I longed to feel his skin, to kiss his soft   
cheek and whisper words of my love into his sensitive ear. Oh God how I love  
him! if only he felt the same.   
I looked at him through the veil of hair that had fallen, unwelcome, on my   
face. His ocean blue eyes stared at me, and I could feel his chest tighten   
and his breath become ragged and short.   
"I...I have to go away Goten." He bit out angrily. I looked at him confused   
and he shifted uncomfortable under me.  
"When will you be back?" Trunks stood up then and I watched him pace in   
front of me. His head hung low and his silver, purple hair hung sadly in his  
eyes masking the tears that I knew were brimming his precious eyes.  
"I don't know Goten, My mother wants me to go overseas to work at Capsule   
Corp International." Trunks stopped and looked at me fiercely and I could   
see the unwanted tears tracking down his plump cheek and I choked back a sob.  
His face softened as he knelt down next to me, taking my shaking hand in his.   
His rough, calloused fingers traced the skin of my hand and I tried desperately  
to hold my composure.  
"Gomen Chibi, I don't want to go! my mother says I have to take responsibility   
for my half of the damn company."   
I could hear the remorse and anger in his voice and I knew he was telling the   
truth. I wanted to throwing my arms around his rough shoulders, and refuse   
that he leave me alone. I wanted to tie him down so he could go no where, and   
stay here with me forever. I looked again into his trembling eyes and let the   
tears flow freely from my eyes, uncaring of who saw me. The only thing that  
mattered was that the most important person in my life was leaving me.  
"When....when do you leave?" I choked out roughly.   
"Tomorrow morning, will you be there?" I couldn't refuse him, I could never  
refuse him anything. I nodded heavily, sobbing uncontrollably. I threw my   
arms around him and his arms immediately went around my waist, whispering   
reassuring words in my ear as he cried. My fists clung desperately to the  
fabric of his thin shirt, shaking violently as I cried.  
"Who will I talk to Trunks? you're my only friend, my best friend. I'll die  
without you! Please, you can't leave." I pleaded into his chest. I heard  
him let out a shaken sigh and his grip on me tightened. I held on to him for  
dear life, trying desperately to control my heart breaking sobs, and the   
shattering of my very being.  
"shhh I know Chibi, I know."  
I don't know how long we stayed there, crying in each others arms, but time   
was my worst enemy and I didn't want this moment to end. The stars twinkled  
brightly in the sky as we walked home. We walked in silence most of the way  
home, just enjoying each others presence for the little time we had left.  
I looked over at his crestfallen face and bit my bottom lip. I wanted to   
tell him how I felt about him, I wanted to hold him in my arms tonight and  
kiss every inch of his skin. I wanted to touch him, feel his skin shiver   
under my fingers, feel his body tremble with need and love for me. I wanted   
him, I love him and he was leaving me. He looks at me again, and I could see  
the love he has for me, but it isn't what I want. I want him to love me in   
every way, I want him to make love to me until I fall asleep in his moist   
embrace and shut the world out. But he doesn't feel that way about me, and   
if I tell him now I could push him further away then distance ever could.   
I'm losing his presence I don't want to lose his memory too.  
We reached his front door and it looked like the gate way to hell. I knew   
that when he stepped inside it was the beginning of the end for me. He   
would leave in the morning and I would be lost without him. As if reading  
my mind he hugged me to him, running a comforting hand over my back as I   
began to sob again.  
"I'll see you tomorrow Chibi." Trunks released me and walked into the house  
and I stayed there, on his door step like the lost puppy I was, and cried.   
  
The air port was busy and I wanted to blast everyone who even looked at me  
funny! I know this isn't usually like me but I was in so much pain I thought  
I'd pass out. Trunks walked next to me, his parents and mine chatting ahead  
of us, and Bra at my other side. I knew she must be hurting, Trunks and her  
were pretty close for a brother and sister and at times I envied them. I   
never had a sister, and although I had Pan, who I loved like a sister rather  
than my niece, there was a connection that was missing, a connection only  
Bra and Trunks had. I suppose I was jealous of her, she saw a part of Trunks  
that I hadn't before. We are best friends and we tell each other everything,  
but I think Bra sees a different side of him, the side I don't get to see.   
She looks at him sometimes with something like pity in her eyes and I often   
wondered why. She's looking at him like that now, but her eyes glance   
towards me too with the same haunting pity in her eyes and I'm curious as  
to what she's thinking. I can see the ghosts of some painful secret hiding   
behind her eyes, I know it all too well, it's the same look I get in my eyes   
when I look at Trunks. What is she hiding?  
I could feel tears sting my eyes again as we reached the gate to the plane.  
I held them back, not wanting to show such 'weak emotion' in front of   
Trunks's father, I don't think I could handle his insults today.   
"Now boarding flight 305 to Vancouver BC, Canada, please line up single file   
at the gate."  
Her voice was like smoky hatred in my ears. I watched as Trunks hugged his   
mother, who had a look of pride and a little sorrow on her pale face. She  
wished him luck and he smiled sadly. He nodded to Vegeta who smirked back,  
a flash of regret in his eyes. My father grabbed Trunks in a big hug, and I  
shook my head, more then a little embarrassed at my fathers display. I almost  
smiled at Vegeta's expression. He looked like he would kill Goku, mostly for  
showing the emotion that Vegeta couldn't. He always hated my father for   
that, because he could show the emotions that Vegeta could not. Vegeta was  
too proud to try, and refused to ask anyone for advice on the subject, and so  
directed his confusion into hatred for my father. I know Vegeta didn't hate  
my dad, he was just envious, but would never admit it.  
My mother smiled and gave Trunks a quick, detached hug before turning into my   
dad's embrace. My dad placed an arms around her waist loosely and she smiled  
up to him. I could remember how Trunks had snaked his arms around me,   
comforting my shaking form. My body shivered at the memory and my heart tore  
another aching hole in itself. I felt the pain well up in my chest as Trunks   
walked over to Bra, her little body shaking with sobs. He opened his arms to  
her and she ran to him, sobbing incoherent words into his chest.   
I couldn't watch anymore! I looked down at my feet, my heart and soul   
shredding to pieces as another boarding call bombed in the speakers above my   
head. Another few minutes and he'd be gone, never knowing how I feel about   
him, never knowing how long I've loved him, and never hurting the way I am.   
Hot tears ran down my cheek as I saw a familiar pair of shoes walk in front   
of me. I couldn't look up, my tears were heavy with heart break holding my   
head down. I could feel his hand on my shoulder and I almost jumped from the   
sensation. He placed a finger under my chin and lifted my head up to meet   
his painful gaze. I almost choked as his tears flowed down his face and I   
slammed my body against his. I held him tightly, much like I had the night   
before and he stroked my back gently.   
"I'll miss you most of all Chibi, please don't forget me." I clutched at his  
shirt desperately and turned my head towards his ear.  
"I could never forget you, you mean so much to me...please come back to me."  
I lifted my head to look into his wet eyes and he smirked a sad smirk.  
"I'll write you all the time, will you write me?" I nodded and he leaned   
forward and gently kissed my forehead. I gasped in my throat and treasured  
the feel of his soft lips on my skin. I smiled and sobbed again as he looked  
at me before turning around and headed for the gate.   
"No please don't leave!" I cried running at the gate. I had to tell him! he  
couldn't leave without knowing! please Truchan come back. I ran as fast as  
I could for the gate when I felt something hold me back. I struggled as hard  
as I could, yelling at the top of my lungs for Trunks to stop. I looked back  
to see who was holding me and to my surprise Vegeta held my waist tightly and  
I beat down on his arms.  
"Let me go! please let me go! I can't lose him...no Trunks please!" I   
slumped over in Vegeta's grip and sobbed my heart out. He let me go when he  
was sure I wouldn't move and Bra knelt next to me, sobbing into my shoulder.  
  
Trunks could hear Goten's pleading words from behind him and his heart broke.  
'I love you Chibi, and I swear I'll come back to you.'  



	2. Letters: Chapter one

hey again :)  
  
Well here's the first chapter (the first post was only the prologue) and I   
have a little warning, if Chichi is one of your fav characters I suggest you  
not read any further...I do some major Chichi bashing in the first two chapters  
of this fic. I really don't like Chichi and I'm sorry if this offends anyone.  
Well if you still want to read the fic then by all means enjoy! this will be  
a four part story with a few twists and turns :) but that's all part of the  
fun..so please enjoy!  
WARNING: THIS IS A TRUTEN FIC (TRUNKS/GOTEN) IF YOU DON'T LIKE YAOI THEN DON'T  
READ!!! you've been warned. Also this is an A/U FIC! just letting you know :)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters so please don't sue me!   
  
  
  
I woke up to the sickening sound of birds chirping outside my window.  
The sun was beating proudly behind a thin layer of clouds and the sky was a   
pathetic shade of blue. I could smell the bitter sweet resin of the morning  
dew coating the ivy that snaked beneath my window and I wanted to scream at  
the world for being so damn cheerful when all I wanted was to die in peace,   
alone. I looked at the clock sitting on my dresser and I had to blink to make  
sure I wasn't seeing things. The bright red numbers blistered 6:30am into my  
dry, foggy eyes and I threw my arm over my closed lids against the assault.   
I was up most of the night, thinking about him, me, us. Sometimes I could   
swear I felt him, standing next to my bed looking down on me with love   
flooding through his features, but I would open my eyes and there would only   
be the black silence of an empty room. I remember looking at the clock when   
it read 4:00am and sighing at my unwelcome insomnia, and closing my eyes,   
which is when I must've fallen asleep.  
I grumbled incoherently, entangling the sheets that had wrapped around me from  
all my tossing and turning and rolled heavily out of bed. I rubbed my swollen,  
red eyes and yawned heavily as I trudged to the bathroom, head hung in defeat.   
I shed my boxers and stepped gingerly into the shower, and turning on the hot   
water, I closed my eyes trying desperately to wash away my heart break. It   
had been a month since Trunks had left and I was like a zombie. I knew   
people were worried about me but I didn't care, I didn't care about anything   
anymore.   
He said he'd write me! but I haven't gotten one letter from him, not one and  
I would go down and check every miserable day. Tears threatened to escape my  
eyes again and I quickly washed them away and stepped out onto my cold   
tile floor. I shivered and wrapped a towel around my waist and looked at   
myself in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes and my skin looked   
pale, whiter then usual which only enhanced the bags under my eyes. My face   
had considerable thinned since he left, I could barely bring myself to eat   
anything, which worried my family further. I could hardly function without   
him, the days don't seem as beautiful, my life doesn't seem as fulfilled,   
and everything has lost the colour it once had. I sighed heavily and walked   
to my dresser, pulling out a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, put them on   
and trudged downstairs slowly not wanting to face my mother this morning.   
My mother had been acting strangely since that day at the air port, she seemed  
so tense and irritated, and she would direct it towards me whenever she could.  
Plus, I knew she'd force me to eat something but I could taste the sour bile   
that had made its way to my mouth making me feel sick. I gripped my aching   
chest to pound the tears back down into my soul, not ready to display any   
emotion in front of my mom. She would look at me and start crying herself,   
which would force me to comfort her and I couldn't even comfort myself! let   
alone a hysterical woman who only wanted the attention she wasn't getting.  
She was standing at the sink, washing a head of lettuce and whistling a   
depressingly happy tune. She turned around and smiled bitterly at me, I  
was most defiantly going to puke.  
"Good morning Goten! your breakfast is on the table." I looked at the large  
pile of food stacked on a small plate on the table. My stomach protested  
loudly but I stumbled to my seat and began nibbling on a carrot. My mother  
looked at numbly and went back to washing the lettuce.  
"Did you sleep well honey?" Chichi asked walking to the counter and pulling  
out a sharp knife. Maybe if I'm lucky she'll go hysterical and kill me, nope  
just chopping the lettuce.  
"No, not really." I replied flatly, taking a small sip of orange juice and   
forcing it down my dry throat. She looked at me again with tears brimming   
her eyes and I looked at her sharply.  
"please don't start crying again mother, I'll be fine." She wiped her eyes  
with her sleeve and proceeded to cut down on the leaves with agonizingly  
slow movements. I feel like that head of lettuce, only I have to live   
through my suffering, the damn plant gets to die!  
"I'm sorry Goten, I'm just worried about you, you barely eat, you don't sleep  
and you don't go anywhere! I'm lucky if I get to see you out of your room.  
Maybe you should go out tonight, I'm sure Maron wouldn't mind some company,  
I know it isn't the same but." She paused for a second, a mischievous smile  
grazing her thin lips. I shuddered, horrified at her expression and almost  
threw up the little food I've eaten. She is not going to try and set me up,  
is she? Oh God she is! No! I can always refuse, the only one I want is gone  
and I refuse to see anyone else, ever. I may never get Trunks but I will   
always be faithful to him, no matter what.  
"You know, the last time I checked Maron was still single...maybe you two   
should consider dating." She smiled at her brilliance, proud that she   
thought of such a 'novel' idea. I panicked, when my mother got her mind on   
something nothing could stop her. I had to think fast! how can I get out of   
this, I don't want to destroy her pride but I refuse to date Maron! I like her   
and all but she's more like my sister, and besides I couldn't do that to her  
knowing what my feelings are. I have to get out of this....but how.  
"Well that's a good idea mom," She beamed proudly, puffing out a little like  
father does when he does something good. "But, you know if I start dating it  
would take away from my studies, and you wouldn't want me to fail would you?"   
She looked at me with fiery eyes and I knew she wasn't going to let me off the  
hook that easily. She squared her shoulders and placed the knife down on the   
counter, folding her arms over her chest and standing her ground.  
"You know, you act like you don't want to do anything. Every since Trunks   
left all you do is mop around the house, for Kami's sake he didn't die."  
I shot her an icy glare and bit back the tears I had fought so hard to push   
back down.   
"It feels like it to me! how the hell would you know what it's like to lose  
the only friend you have in the world. You don't know mother, so don't try  
to tell me how I should feel." Her eyes narrowed and she walked up to me,  
looking down at me like a bug that needed to be killed quickly.  
"Do not take that tone with me! I'm still your mother dammit."   
I stood up so that we were at eye level and stared, angrily at her. She stood  
there stubbornly, not flinching and grinding her teeth to keep her anger in  
check. I glared at her with all the emotions that had whirled around inside   
me during the last month; a swirling tempest just waiting to be released to  
reek havoc on anyone in its path. I could feel my ki raise with my anger and  
she twitched as she recognized the heat emerging from me. I spun hotly on my  
heels, turning my back on her, clenching my fists and biting my lip to ease  
my anger.  
"I'll be in my room." I began my death march up the stairs when a thought   
crossed my mind briefly, why did she mention Maron and not Bra? Not that I   
would date either of them but I'm considerably closer to Bra, but I shrugged  
it off as non sense from a hysterical woman.  
I turned around slowly, half way to my destination, almost afraid to ask.   
"Did I get anything in the mail today?" I held my breath and started up  
the stairs again, knowing what the answer would be.  
"you did." Was all I heard and I froze in my place, staring blankly at her   
from over my slumped shoulders. "I think it's from Trunks." Her voice   
lowered in disapproval, I ignored it. Was she serious? did I just hear her   
right? She frowned up at my expression and walked to the pile of bills and   
newspapers pulling out a small, thick envelope.   
She held up the letter and I almost lost my composure. He wrote me! he  
finally wrote me! I tore down the stairs and grabbed the envelope from her  
small, boney fingers, squeaked a barely audible 'thanks' and ran to my room,  
slamming the door shut.   
I sat on the bed and stared at it. It was from Trunks all right, I would   
know his printing anywhere. I lifted the letter up to my nose and lightly  
smelled the paper, catching a small hint of Trunks scent lingering there.  
My breath caught in my throat at the familiar smell and I closed out every  
thing around me, small tears falling from my closed eyes. I could picture  
him in front of me, a small smirk playing over his luscious lips, his arms  
crossed over his broad, firm chest just begging me to 'play' with him.  
I opened my eyes slowly and looked down at the letter in my hands again.  
I slid my finger softly over the seal and pried it open. I took the letter  
out of the envelope and smiled at how thick the it was. I opened it and  
smiled the first genuine smile I had had all month as I read the letter   
quietly to myself.  
  
Dearest Goten,  
  
Hi Chibi, do you miss me yet? Well I miss you so much! it just isn't the   
same without you ya know. I'm so sorry it took me so long to write to you  
but it took longer then I thought to get settled in. I thought I was going  
to be staying in hotel until I found a suitable apartment but my mother had  
arranged for me to stay with one of her overseas friends. She's really nice  
actually, her names Jen (weird name ne?), I think you'd like her, she's  
kind of a nut but she makes me laugh. She says you can come and visit   
anytime you want, so I hope you take her up on that offer, I would love to   
see you. Listen to me, we've only been separated for a month and I already  
want you to come visit me. I can't remember a time when we've been away this  
long from each other can you? So what've you been up to? things are going  
good over here, well as good as they can get being away from everyone I love.  
Turns out the guys in charge over here have screwed things up royally and of  
course I have to fix it. It's going to be a long, tiring few months while  
I straighten out this mess, but my one driving force is knowing that the  
sooner I can get everything stable over here the sooner I can come home to  
you. Gee you'd think we were a couple! hahaha wouldn't that drive Tousan  
insane! hehe I'm just kidding. So how is everyone? I hope things haven't   
gone to hell too much since I've been gone, I don't anything to be too   
different when I come back, hehehe I'm confused enough :) anyway lets see what  
else is new? It's not as cold as I thought it would be, you know how everyone  
says Canada is like a big freezer, well it isn't that bad. I don't know where  
people got that idea from anyway! It rains here more then anything but at   
least it's green (the scenery not the rain Baka :)). So have you made any   
new friends yet? You better not be trying to replace me! hehehe yeah right   
like anyone could replace me, the Prince of the Saiyans! (I must be home sick,  
I'm starting to sound like Tousan.) I haven't really met anyone new, except  
Jen and her friends which are just as nutty. Then again I have no real want  
to meet new people, mostly because I don't think I'll be living here long   
enough to really need any new friends, besides who needs friends when you   
have Son Goten! See don't worry, I still luv ya, and I promise I'll come back   
I just don't know when. Well I gotta run, Jen's calling me for dinner.  
  
Love ya  
Trunks  
  
I bit back the tears that threatened to fall from my half focused eyes. I  
couldn't decide if they were tears of joy or heartbreak but I hugged his   
letter to me, hoping it would ease my pounding heart. He misses me! he really  
misses me! I laughed to myself at how short the letter really was, knowing  
full well how big Trunks's writing is, but I knew this was only the beginning  
of the 'books' he would soon be sending.   
As I held his letter to my pounding heart all the sorrow that had been   
drowning me all month seemed to vaporize into something like...relief.  
I stood up and walked towards my desk, pulling out a pad of paper and pen.  
I sat down and poured my heart out to the paper infront of me.  
  
Dear Trunks,  
I'm so glad you finally wrote me. I was getting worried that you'd forget.  
I miss you too and I can't wait to see you. So you're staying with one of  
your mother's crazy friends, Jen was it? you're right that is a weird name,   
and I wouldn't mind coming to see you :) so tell her to expect me. Things  
have been quite slow around here and everything is boring without you. Don't  
worry, I'm not making any new friends, how could I knowing you'd be coming  
home some day. I know I sound like some love-sick puppy but I just don't  
want any other friends. You're the only person who can fully understand me,  
and not only because we are both half Saiyans. We've grown up together, I   
know up together, I know you like I know myself and I don't want to know  
anyone else. As you said, who needs friends when you have Briefs Trunks!  
Anyway so it rains a lot huh? hehe I always thought it snowed all the time  
in Canada! Well I'll make a point not to listen to my mother about 'worldly'  
things anymore. You're family's doing fine although Bra is a little worse-  
for-wear, she misses you dreadfully.  
Your mother is working hard as always, building some new secret invention  
that we're not allowed to know about. I think she's just trying to take her  
mind off you not being here, we all are really. Your father spars a lot,  
which is nothing new, but my mother tells me that sometimes he doesn't come  
home for days at a time. I think he's trying to work out a lot of his issues,  
although you know he'll never tell anyone.  
Gohan's doing great and Videl is taking it easy for a while. Pan cries a lot,  
she had a huge crush on you for years (you knew that right? If not, don't   
tell her I told you). But don't worry, she's getting a lot of support from  
Bra and Maron, (who also had a big crush on you.)  
I suppose that's everyone, OH WAIT! My father's as childish as always, forever  
trying to make me smile. My mother is such a fruit cake! She cries all the  
time and she didn't even like you that much! Sometimes I wish she would just  
dig a hole and crawl in it! Her constant mothering of me was fine when we   
were kids, but for God's sake I'm 20 years old. I know, I know I should just  
move out but she won't let me go anywhere until I finish University, so I get  
to complain all I want. I guess it never bothered me as much when you were  
here, I could tolerate anything as long as you were with me. I find I'm  
considerably irritable since you left, the world just isn't as fun anymore.  
I suppose that's what happens when you separate a friendship like ours, but  
it could just be me.   
Well I should probably go now, it's almost noon and you know how my mother  
gets when I'm not down for lunch. I can't to hear from you again, so please  
don't take too long next time. Miss ya!  
  
Love Always  
Goten.  
  
I carefully folded the letter, and placed it in an envelop. I should of told  
Trunks the truth! That I'm dying without him, that I can barely eat, sleep,  
or breathe without him. I should've told him my true feelings. But no! I   
can't, I know how hard things are for him. I know he misses his family and I  
had to reassure him that they feel the same. I couldn't make him, my beloved  
feel guilty for leaving me, even though it would probably bring him back to me.  
I know this is for the best. This way he can live his life well and travel  
just as he always dreamed, I'm not one to shatter dreams. I knew in my heart  
now that I would see him again, and that some how melted the ice that had  
encased my broken heart. 


	3. Letters: Chapter two

Hey peeps! sorry it took me a while to get this chapter out, but I had to  
revise it a million times :) I don't like it but if I waited any longer I'd  
never get it out. Sorry it's so short but Chapter 3 is going to be   
considerably longer I promise. This story will turn out to be a Lemon but  
not until chapter 4 :) but be assured all my stories are Lemons :)  
A few notes: This is an AU fic, that means that, although Vegeta and Goku   
never spar together in the show and Bra doesn't spar at all, they do in my  
fic. Also I had to bump up Bra, Pan and Maron's ages, Bra and Pan are 10  
and Maron is 9...I know that is way off but again AU fic :) YAOI WARNING!!!  
This is also a Yaoi fic, a Truten blah blah blah you read this all in the last  
part. Chichi bashing alert!!!!!!!!!!! If you like Chichi don't read! I hate   
her so I bash her good :)   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ so don't sue me!   
  
  
Letters: Chapter 2  
  
  
  
  
During the next few months my mother made my life a living hell.   
After my first few letters from Trunks my mood had significantly changed to  
one of a more happier tone. Now certain that my health was no longer in   
question, she started hounding me to study and focus more on my schooling  
rather then 'pointless training' and 'useless moping'.   
  
It was early summer that my mother began expressing her true feelings about  
my love, and her words would cut through me like shards of glass.   
  
I could recall one particular incident when I had just finished a 30 page   
essay on the development of Quantum Technology. Being more of an artistic   
mind, I had great difficulty with the theories of Quantum Physics and needed   
to relax with a little sparring.   
  
I hadn't been interested in sparring much over the past years but I had come   
to enjoy how it released my anger, mostly towards my mother, and my sadness   
at Trunks's absence.   
  
I slipped on my sparring attire, (tight spandex shorts and a loose white   
beater), and my heart clenched slightly at the memories of Trunks oozing out  
of the mental prison I had locked them in. I would always wear this outfit  
when we would go sparring together, which most of the time, meant we were   
getting into some sort of trouble. Kami how I miss him.   
  
I pounded the tears back down, swearing I would have a good cry later, and   
slipped downstairs. My father was no where to be found and I assumed he was   
training with Vegeta. My mother stood in her stationary position at the   
kitchen sink and I wanted to gag at her feigned domestication.   
  
Hoping to leave without catching her attention, I floated towards the door   
and placed my hands on the cool knob. Turning it slowly, I cracked the door   
open and it creaked, exposing my intentions. My mother turned on me sharply,  
knife in hand, and glared me down like a harpy in heat.  
  
"Just where do think YOU'RE going?" She squawked, bitter sweet curiosity  
dripping from her voice.   
  
I tensed and turned around, staring her sharply in the eye, refusing to   
succumb to her glares.  
  
"Out." I said flatly, waiting for her to pursue this developing argument.  
  
"Where?" She questioned, never taking her eyes off me.   
  
My fists tightened around the door knob, knuckles whitening under the pressure   
I stood my ground.  
  
"Look mother, I finished my paper and I thought I'd go spar with Bra." I  
hissed, venomous hatred steaming from my throat.   
  
She smiled angrily at me and I braced myself for her high pitched screams.   
I blinked when I heard nothing but an irritated sigh.  
  
"Fine do whatever you want." She grinned out, taking a step towards my   
retreating form. "If you want to spend time with that barbaric family that's  
fine, I thought that since Trunks was gone you'd come to your senses and be   
rid of his blood thirsty kind. After all, any son of Vegeta is just as evil   
as the father."  
  
Hot tears filled my eyes and my chest pounded in pain. I felt like she had   
ripped my very heart out of my chest, and crushed it with her uncaring hands.  
  
I had walked out then, so angry that if she'd been anyone but my mother I  
would have killed her for speaking ill of my beloved. I didn't return for   
days, my father bringing me clothes and paper so I could work and write to   
Trunks.  
  
I thought about keeping myself in a self imposed exile, anything to get away  
from my mothers accusing eyes. But I knew very well that I couldn't live   
out there in the small cave that had been my shelter for a month. I needed   
some where to go, and I wasn't going back to that hole, screw that bitch!  
  
I left home at the end of the summer and went to live with Gohan and Videl,  
who welcomed me without question. My father all but begged me to stay, but I  
was too angry to hear him, I didn't want to hear him. My mother bellowed the  
typical 'if you leave now don't bother coming back' speech; I turned my back  
proudly and walked out.  
  
When I got to Gohan's he wanted to talk about it but all I wanted was Trunks.  
I wrote him every day during these last months of the year and he was  
always there with a soothing word, if only on paper. I told him everything;  
about my mother's sudden change of heart, about my father's depression, about  
the divorce, everything.   
  
I miss him now more then anything, I knew I would when Christmas came around.  
I remember when we would decorate the tree together and we would always get  
tangled in the tinsel. I miss how we would all go to Bulma's house and Trunks  
and I would wait by the chimney for Santa to come, and Vegeta would always   
call us pathetic when we were found cuddle up together, asleep by the warm  
fire. Without him, it's just a meaningless holiday.  
  
I watched as the light powder danced from the sky painting everything with a  
thin coat of white. I shivered at the sight of the icicles hanging on my   
window and I sighed heavily.   
  
Gohan wanted to keep up the tradition and go over to Bulma's for Christmas,   
and I was reluctant to go and protested heavily. I was silenced by the   
whimpers of my big brother and little niece and begrudgingly agreed to go.   
Videl told me I'd really like my gifts this year, I doubt it.   
  
We got dressed up, like every year, and flew quickly over to the Briefs' house  
to get out of the cold. Their house looked gloomier this year, maybe it was  
because Trunks wasn't there, maybe it was because of all the pain I've been  
through this past year; whatever it was, I didn't want to be there.  
  
We shook off the snow from our hair and jackets and walked through the doors,  
greeted with soft music and the smell of food...lots of food. My stomach  
growled at the prospect of turkey and Bulma's stuffing and I managed a small  
smile at my stomachs impatience. I walked through the main hallway and took  
in the breath taking sight of the living room.   
  
The tree was in the far right hand corner, big and full and beautifully   
decorated with bright lights and garland. A string of lights lit the room  
with a dull glow as they hung, stapled to the wall, twinkling like stars.  
The fire place stood proudly with its stockings hung on the hearth, each one  
embroidered with a different name. I choked back a sob as I saw Trunks's   
stocking hanging next to mine, filled with small gifts and painted joyously  
with fake snow. The fire roared savagely as Vegeta threw a log, unceremoniously  
onto the dull embers. I chuckled at Vegeta's never changing demeanor, and   
walked towards the kitchen where all the wonderful smells were emanating.  
  
My father stood looking over Bulma's shoulder, little drops of saliva escaping  
his slightly open mouth. I noticed how happy his eyes were and I had to smile.  
He turned his attention from the food and looked at me with more love in his  
eyes then I've seen in my short lifetime. Tears brimmed his big, misty black  
eyes and he staggered over towards me.  
  
"Hi Goten." He stood in front of me and I was so ashamed that I simply looked  
down at the floor, tracing circles with my feet.   
  
I noticed how the room had ceased all noise, except the sound of boiling food.   
  
"Hi Dad." I looked up as my father put a comforting hand on my shoulder, and  
smiled his classic smile.   
  
"I've really missed you son." He opened his warm arms towards me and I ran  
into his embrace.  
  
"I've missed you too." I hugged him tight and he squeezed me to him.  
I heard Gohan laugh happily behind me and Bulma's bright smile shone over the  
steaming pots and pans.   
  
I hadn't seen my father since I moved in with Gohan, not because I hated him,  
but I was so angry that he let my mother treat me like that I didn't want  
to see him. I considered seeing him after the divorce, but I was still so  
angry that I couldn't bring myself to face him. I was being so selfish then,  
and I know now what I didn't before: I need my father, almost as much as I   
need Trunks.  
  
I heard a cough coming from behind us and my head turned towards Vegeta who   
was glaring daggers at my dad and I.  
  
"Now that you've ruined my appetite with your nauseating display of disgusting  
affection, get out of my kitchen." He stated bluntly, turning towards the   
fireplace he growled, "the brats want their pathetic stockings."  
  
I smiled up at my dad and he led me into the living room, beaming all the way.  
I chuckled loudly as I heard a loud *thud* followed by, "Dammit woman! keep   
your filthy hands to yourself!"  
  
I sat next to my father, absently snuggling under his arm. Gohan smiled   
happily at our dad and I and mimicked my movement next to Videl, Pan on her  
side. Krillin, Juuhachigou, and Maron were sitting to our far right, pure  
joy painted on their naturally pale faces.  
  
Bra sat next to me and she leaned against the wall where Vegeta stood, the   
usual scowl on his face, rubbing his head.  
  
Bulma came up behind him, smiling triumphantly and kissed him affectionately  
on the cheek. He smirked down at her and she chuckled under his glare.  
  
"Well are we ready for stockings?" Bulma asked, taking down each stocking and  
handing them out to each person...all except Trunks's.  
  
Bra and Pan ran to each other and began their annual 'gift exchange' of   
stocking stuffers, making sure each got what they wanted.  
  
Maron looked at Juuhachigou, who nodded with a smile and Maron walked over to  
her two giggling companions.  
  
Gohan and Videl sat in each others arms talking and watching the younger girls  
exchange their goodies.  
  
My dad sat with Bulma and talked of the old days as Vegeta scowled at them   
from his favorite corner.   
  
I looked down at my stocking, tracing the soft letters with my fingers, a small  
smile on my lips. I opened it slowly, looking into its depth only to be struck  
by an envelop blocking me from my goodies. I recognized the printing. I knew  
it was from him and my throat leapt in my throat. I knew he understood how  
lonely I was and no doubt felt the same. This was our holiday and I could  
hardly bare him not being here. I smiled down at the envelop and gently peeled  
it open, removing it's contents, the goodies can wait. There was no letter this  
time, only a small card, which was unusual for Trunks for he always took the   
time to write me 'books' instead of letters. It was a Christmas card, with  
just a golden angel on the front. I opened it and a small piece of paper fell  
out of it, and I looked down at it strangely. I picked it up and read its   
contents, in big bold letters it said only the words, "Turn around."  
  
I stood up staring at the paper and I looked up into the bluest eyes I've ever  
seen, the eyes I grew up with.  
  
Trunks stood in front of me, a mischievous smile curving over his soft lips as  
he stared into my face. I could do nothing but stare at him, not believing that  
after almost a year, he was standing in front of me, looking the same as when  
he had left me that day.   
  
I closed my eyes against the tears that were forming in my eyes and tried   
desperately to block out these cruel hallucinations before I lost my mind.   
I could feel him lean in towards me and his warm breath brushed my flushed   
ear.   
  
My body tensed and I bit my bottom lip, fighting to ignore my delusions of   
his soft hair teasing my cheek and his breath beating on my flesh.  
  
"Hi Chibi, I told you I'd be back."  
  
My eyes snapped open at his soft whispering in my ear and the tears fell from  
from my eyes as realization hit me.  
  
"You're really here?" I begged, almost afraid the answer would be no.   
He threw his arms around me and I clung to him, relishing in the fact that   
he was real and in my arms. 


	4. Letters: Chapter three

Hey peeps! 

Ok here's chapter 3 and it's long :) really long (well for me it is anyway.) There is a slight lime scene in this story but nothing to major...but the next chapter is the lemon! And trust me I'm working on it :) Ok so enough of my talking on with the fic. 

YAOI WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you don't like it don't read it. 

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or any of the character! Sucks to be me :)   
  
  
  
  
  


"Goten! there's a letter here for you!" Gohan called from the doorway. I stumbled quickly downstairs, tugging on a pair of pants, hoping to catch him   
  


before he left for work.   
  


"Gohan wait! I need to ask you..." I stopped at the door only to see Gohan blast off before I had a chance to talk to him.   
  


I'll talk to him later, it wasn't that important, at least not as important as a letter from Trunks.   
  


I picked it up and walked to my room, not bothering to close the door, no one was here anyway. Tearing the letter open under the spring sunlight that shimmered through my bedroom window, I urgently began reading his letter:   
  


Dearest Goten, 

I have some big news! but first you have to book some time off school in about 2 months ok! Why you ask, well because I'm getting married! Yep that's right, me of all people getting married! Do you remember the girl I told you about at Christmas? You know the one from work that kept asking me out, Ashleigh, well you guessed it that's the one. I know what you're thinking and yes, this is the same one that Kaasan was trying to set me up with, and yes the one that annoyed the hell out of me. So why you ask? Well after I got back from my little vacation there I decided that I'd just swallow my pride and go out with her, I can't stay single forever right? Anyway, as it turns out, she's wonderful! We share so many interests, and she's really my type after all. The date is May 5th and I want you to be my best man! please say you will. Anyone special in your life yet? I know I know, you don't need any one else. I know you've been kinda antisocial since I left but hey! maybe you met someone eh? well you can bring her if you want, any friend of yours is a friend of mine. Anyway sorry this letter is so short, I just had to let you know so I hope to hear from you.   
  


Love ya 

Trunks   
  
  
  


I let the letter fall from my hands, the weight of his words pulling it to the ground and my chest felt heavy. Disbelief and shock stung my face as I stared at the evil paper laying unwanted on my floor.   
  


What? Trunks was...getting married? I stared at the floor, wishing desperately that this was just a dream. It couldn't be real! not after everything that happened over Christmas, I was so sure then. I know I felt something between us, he was so kind and...and the way he looked at me, I know I didn't imagine it!   
  


I had to recollect my thoughts, I couldn't have been that blind. Trunks always had a strange effect on me and I've been wrong about him before, but there was no way I was completely wrong about him having feelings for me. It was just the way he acted towards me, and I know something had changed between us, especially when we spent all night talking on the roof. He barely mentioned this Ashleigh, and when he did he didn't have anything really nice to say about her. There's no way his tastes would have change this quickly, it didn't make any sense!   
  


But maybe I was wrong, just a dream I wanted so desperately to be true, and I made myself believe he loved me. We were so happy that night, and the magic of the season only made me love him more, so much in fact that I wanted him to want me too, more then anything in the world. Was that it?   
  


I was so confused! I sat on my bed slowly, recollecting every thing of that short time we spent together. When I was happy and dared to believe, for the first time since I realized my desire for him, that he loved me too.   
  


*Flashback*   
  


We all sat at the dinner table, relishing in the large amounts of delicious food that scattered the table. It was enough food to feed a small country and everyone was drooling over the intoxicating aromas. Except me, I was drooling at the beautiful image of my best friend, sitting across from me, smiling like a kid in a candy store.   
  


He would look at me briefly, a mischievous glint shining through his ocean eyes as Bulma passed out everyone's portions with a wink and a smile. She really was the perfect hostess and nothing gave Bulma more joy in the world then making people happy. She delicately placed full dishes of food in front of us, quickly removing her hand before my dad bit it off.   
  


Everyone dove into their plates, little bits of food flying over every inch of the dining room, most of them coming from dad's area of the table. Vegeta looked at him in disgust and held a napkin up as a shield, trying to keep dad's crumbs off his desired food.   
  


Trunks raised his fork and smirked lightly, I knew exactly what he was going to do and I had to suppress a chuckle.   
  


"Chew Attack!" He yelled and dove right into his plate. I watched as Vegeta's face lifted, in a scowl, above his neglected plate and smacked Trunks upside the head, taking the napkin shield with him.   
  


"Shut up brat!" Vegeta grunted before focusing back down on his plate, glaring at the food bits that had maneuvered onto his food during his moment of weakness.   
  


I ate slowly for the first time in my life just watching everyone: I watched Trunks with a smile as he rubbed his abused head and grinned at me. I almost melted at that look in his eyes and had to rip my eyes mercilessly away from him.   
  


Vegeta's gaze kept shifting continuously from Trunks and I to Bulma to Goku. I figured Vegeta was looking at my dad because of his messiness until I saw Goku's hand inch closer towards Vegeta's plate. I laughed as Vegeta smacked his hand roughly, a small smile grazing his tight lips.   
  


My father would giggle every time Vegeta hit him, but he never quite his pursuit of Vegeta's food.   
  


Bulma was watching Vegeta closely, as always, more then a little annoyed at his constant assaults on the members of the table. Only this time, she kept her mouth shut, trying to keep some peace I suppose.   
  


I glanced quickly back at my love who was busy stuffing his face, but stopped long enough to smile at me again.   
  


I looked at Krillin, Juuhachigou and Maron who were talking and laughing between bites, Maron giggling at the gossip between her, Bra and Pan, and I smiled at their innocents.   
  


Gohan and Videl were whispering in each others ear, I couldn't make out what they were saying but every once in a while Videl would blush and Gohan would chuckle quietly.   
  


My father glanced at Gohan and Videl, smirking playfully at their attentions to each other and taking another mouthful of potatoes and rice. Vegeta looked relieved as dad's attention shifted, and he could finally eat.   
  


"hehehe if you keep that up Gohan I'm gonna have a new grandchild by summer!"   
  


Gohan smiled brightly and Videl's cheeks stained bright red as she focused her attentions on her food.   
  


Bulma looked up at Goku and then over towards Trunks who was guzzling back a glass of chocolate milk, oblivious to the look his mother was giving him. He swallowed the last of his drink, neglecting to wipe off the small traces of milk left on his upper lip.   
  


God I want to lick off that damn milk mustache!   
  


"Speaking of Grandkids, are you seeing anyone yet Trunks?" Bulma asked, sipping her tea and crossing her arms over her chest. I gulped and looked at Trunks who shifted in his seat uncomfortably and looked back at me then to Bulma.   
  


"No, not yet."   
  


Bulma's face twisted into a mixture of sadness, anger and annoyance. Her voice echoed throughout the dining room, making it impossible to ignore her.   
  


"Well I don't want to wait forever for Grandchildren Trunks! I'm sure there are some very nice girls over seas..."   
  


"Kaasan, please don't start this again, we go through this every time I talk to you." Trunks looked back at me with a pleading look in his eyes and I shrugged, not knowing what to do.   
  


"I'm sorry Trunks, it just seems like you aren't even trying! Don't you want a family?."   
  


"You know I do Kaasan, it's just I..."   
  


I looked at him, scared of what he might say. But Bulma had a point, he'd been gone so long...why wasn't he seeing anyone? It's not like he never dated when he was here, he's a free man now and he's choosing to be single. He keeps looking at me too, like I could save him from this unwanted interrogation...like only I could save him.   
  


My skin quiver with excitement as I looked at him, warm hope wrapping around me like a comforting blanket. Maybe he feels the same...   
  


"For Kami's sake! are you two sleeping together?" Vegeta butted in suddenly, looking at Trunks and I.   
  


I didn't realize what Vegeta said until I noticed how quiet everyone had become.   
  


Forks dropped and plates forgotten, all eyes were on Trunks and I and a deep crimson washed over my face, much as Videl had a moment before. I coughed and lowered my head, Trunks's eyes jerked from me to Vegeta and back again; I gulped and braced myself.   
  


"What the hell kind of question is that!?! I haven't even been here! why the hell would you say something like that?"   
  


Vegeta smirked evilly and chuckled.   
  


"Well, you two have spent the last 2 hours staring at each other!"   
  


"So?"   
  


"So either you're sleeping together or one of you is hiding something."   
  


My blush deepened and I pray no one noticed.   
  


"Tousan you are so...stupid!"   
  


Vegeta's smirk faded into a scowl and he stood up, towering over his seated audience.   
  


"What did you say!"   
  


Trunks stood as well, both staring daggers at the other, using their best techniques to intimidate the other.   
  


"You heard me Tousan."   
  


Vegeta's eyes widened in anger as his fists clenched and his shoulders shook with tension. Oh Kami this is going to be a doosie!   
  


"You dare disgrace me in front of Kakarott!"   
  


My dad looked up slightly at the mention of his alternate name and gazed questioningly at Vegeta. I almost smiled as dad took advantage of the welcome distraction and snatched one of Vegeta's dinner rolls.   
  


"Me disgrace you? You're the one making a fool out of yourself by opening your mouth!"   
  


"I'll make you eat your words brat!"   
  


It was Trunks's turn to smirk as he picked up a large piece of cake and held it up threateningly.   
  


"Eat this!" Trunks yelled throwing the cake at Vegeta. He was too quick though, and managed to dodge the attack.   
  


I started to giggle nervously as I looked passed Vegeta at Bulma's chocolate coated, angry face. Leave it to Trunks to take the attention off himself.   
  


Bulma silently grabbed a big handful of mashed potatoes and hurled it at Trunks who ducked, non too soon and I was laughing so hard my gut hurt.   
  


Pan was dripping with cold potato and disbelief and stood as well. My dad's bottom lip trembled as he opened his mouth in protest but was silenced by a fistful of rice hurled directly in his mouth and he chewed it down happily.   
  


Suddenly an all out food fight broke out and I stood my ground, happily throwing handfuls of food in any direction I could. I could hear my dad's whimpers about 'wasting food' and 'still hungry', above the laughter and I was having fun. Real fun.   
  


After an hour of destroying Bulma's kitchen and her lovely dinner, we were all covered from head to toe with food.   
  


Vegeta scowled at me from under the chocolate cake that Bulma had smooshed into his face, knowing he would be forced to help with the clean up. I had little, if nothing to do with initiating the fight and he knew I would get off without having to lift a finger. I gave him a smirk of my own and he 'hmphed' before turning his back on me and heading towards the sink for some buckets. Serves him right!   
  


I could see Trunks waving at me to get away from the crowd, beckoning me to follow him quickly, obviously without getting noticed. I slithered out of the dining room, without a sound and followed his quickly retreating form.   
  


I wonder what he was up to.   
  


"Trunks wha..." He stopped at the foot of the stairs and quickly spun sideways pushing me gently against the wall with his arm. His sweet scent tickled my senses and my skin prickled with excitement.   
  


I gasped in curiosity as his shoulders pressed me back and he looked around to see if anyone saw us. His head turned towards me and he placed a finger to his lips.   
  


"shhhh..If we hurry we can get the showers before the others catch on."   
  


The lump in my throat grew and I opened my mouth to speak but I was silenced by his hand pressing gently against my mouth. His hand was cool and inviting, and I wanted to lick his palm as his gaze hardened.   
  


"Shh! if anyone realizes what we're doing we'll never get clean."   
  


I could barely understand anything he said, my hearing was clouded by the sound if my heart beating wildly. He coked his head to the side and I shook off some of my astonishment as I thought about what he was telling me. 'Get clean..' I blinked in confusion, not understanding at all what he was talking about.   
  


"What?"   
  


He smirked before pushing himself off me, punching me playfully in the shoulder and I shivered at the feeling of loss.   
  


"You can take the shower in the hall and I'll use the one in my room, when you're done come in and I'll get you a change of clothes."   
  


"Oh."   
  


I blushed at the thought of walking into his room after he'd showered, warm, wet and completely naked. I shook the thought from my head and looked up to see if Trunks had seen me blush but he was already at the top of the stairs, walking quickly to his room.   
  


I showered fast, getting all traces of food out of my hair and scrubbed off the sticky remnants from my skin. I didn't like being away from Trunks for long, even though it was only a few minutes, but I had been without him for so long that no one could blame me for wanting to be near him.   
  


I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel as my thoughts ran back to Vegeta's comment: 'For Kami's sake! are you two sleeping together?'   
  


I almost choked when he said that! did he know how I felt about his son? 

He must know, why else would he have said anything? I don't get it, but then again Vegeta never made sense. I wondered how he might react to my feelings, Vegeta that is; He didn't sound angry when he made that comment, just irritated, like he was watching a movie he'd seen a thousand times and hoping the ending would change.   
  


But that's obscured! Vegeta couldn't have known about my feelings for that long, even when Trunks was living here we barely hung out at his house. It was strange really. Then there was the way Bra had looked after Vegeta's outburst; her eyes grew wider than a deer in the headlights and she looked at Trunks with, what looked like, panic all over her face.   
  


I don't get it, why would Bra look panicked? I had talked to her often since Trunks had left but didn't think I made my feelings that obvious. When we would speak of Trunks, I would tell her that I missed him and that I was really bored without him here, but I never once thought she suspected anything.   
  


Did everyone know how I felt?   
  


I walked out of the bathroom and down the hall towards Trunks's room. I opened the door and peaked inside, looking for any signs of his beautiful form, but alas! he was no where to be seen. I didn't hear the shower going so I figured he was still in the bathroom.   
  


"Hey Tru-chan! you finished yet?" I yelled, thoughtfully making my presence known. As much as I would love to see Trunks walk out in his birthday suit, he had been embarrassed enough tonight.   
  


"Yeah, just give me a sec!" He hollered back, voice a little hoarse. Must've been from all that laughing, I haven't laughed that hard since before he left, it felt good to be happy again.   
  


I looked over his room, white and clean like I remember it. Trunks was quite the neat freak and liked to keep his belongings organized. His bookcase was where I remembered it, against the wall next to the window where he would sneak out to meet me at night when we were kids. His bed was along the wall on the right, facing the bathroom door, neatly made with a small teddy bear on the pillow; the one I gave him for his birthday 3 years ago. His dresser stood along the left wall next to his work desk where papers and documents were stacked in a neat pile at the corner next to the lamp. Some things never change.   
  


I crossed to his dresser, leaning against the wall and thinking more about how many people knew about my 'obvious' feelings.   
  


I was jolted from my thoughts by the sound of the bathroom door opening. My breath caught at the sight of him, his hair fell damp in his face grazing his flushed, hot cheeks. His olive skin, adorned with beads of water, shimmered in the dull light of the room as he walked over to me. His towel was wrapped tightly around his waist, exposing his hard, sculptured stomach but hiding what I had been waiting to see since puberty.   
  


He smiled at me and I bit back the urge to jump him right there!   
  


He bent over and rummaged through his dresser, looking for some clothes for himself and I. I was still standing beside the dresser and I had the perfect view of his leaning form. Little beads of water spotted all along his body, leaving thin trails in their wake and I absently licked my lips. As his shoulders would shift, more droplets would run down his back, stopping where the towel sat, blocking my view.   
  


I could picture Trunks on top of me, those same beads of water dripping sensually down his body. I turn my head and lick the water from his arm, salivating at the delicious taste of his skin under my tongue and he would moan gently, shutting his eyes as I traced his skin. He would nibble gently at my neck, licking every crevice while gently sliding his fingers down my shoulders. 

'Touch me' I'd say and he would shift above me running his hands down my chest, gently circling my nipples and I would hold him tightly, moaning his name. His hands would continue downward, farther and farther until his fingers would wrap around my...   
  


"Did you say something Chibi?"   
  


My eyes shot up to see Trunks smiling at me, still rummaging through his dresser.   
  


"Umm....No, why" I had to bite the hell out of my cheek to prevent myself from blushing. He looked back down at the drawer, pulling out clothes for the two of us.   
  


"I just thought I heard you say something." He stood upright and walked toward me holding a small pile of clothes. I looked at them a little dazed then back up into his smoldering gaze.   
  


"No I was just thinking"   
  


"What about?"   
  


"No...nothing important." I knew I was blushing then and I turned my gaze back to the clothing in his hands.   
  


"Are these mine?" I could feel his eyes borrowing hotly into my hung head, and I looked back up to him and gasped at the intensity of his stare. He nodded and I reached for them, our fingers brushing gently against each other.   
  


A spark was lit inside me and I could feel the tightness in my groin intensify and I wanted to cry out from it. I stared deeply at him, wanting him, needing him..now. His eyes burned into mine and I swallowed the lump in my throat.   
  


Was the distance between us getting smaller?   
  


I could smell his musky scent and it filled me with a daze I've never known before, more powerful then before. He was absolutely intoxicating! I took a step towards him and his body tightened.   
  


Was he leaning towards me?   
  


"TRUNKS IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GETTING OUT OF CLEANING YOU'D BETTER THINK AGAIN!"   
  


Bulma's voiced boomed from the kitchen.   
  


Trunks's hands fell from the clothing and he turned his eyes away from me down to the dresser.   
  


"Thanks." I squeaked out and walked out of his room quickly. I walked into one of the guest rooms and shut the door, leaning against it and breathing like I'd been holding my breath for a century. What the hell just happened? If he didn't know how I felt before, he sure as hell knows now! he'll never talk to me again.   
  


No! I'm jumping to conclusions again, I needed to think about this.   
  


I threw on the clothes Trunks had given me and I almost cried as his scent wrapped around me doing mean thinks to my senses and teasing my already aching groin. I noticed the window in the corner of the room and walked, slowly towards it. I cracked it open and looked towards the roof, the cold air hitting my skin and cooling off the fire that was burning in me. I smiled slightly and jumped out the window to sit on the roof, looking out at the sky.   
  


I had chewed on the situation for almost and hour, figuring that even if Trunks did know, it wouldn't change any thing, we were too good of friends to end our friendship over something so trivial. It wasn't trivial though, I mean I've loved him since I could remember, why wouldn't I fall in love with him. I knew in my heart I wasn't gay, hell I wasn't straight either, I was...Trunks's, it's that simple. Since I was born I belonged to him and no other, and I would never be with anyone else. The thought of being with anyone disgusted me, whether female or male, all I want is Trunks.   
  


The sky was blacker then I've ever seen it before; clear and littered beautifully with stars, each one telling a story of creation, love and death. The city lights glistened in the horizon lighting the snow with a thousand shades of colour. I could smell the wood burning from the fire place as the white smoke lifted from the chimney into the atmosphere. I smiled at how ironic it was, that smoke does so much damage to the planet and yet it's connected to so many happy memories. I always loved the smell of burning wood.   
  


I could feel his ki behind me and I let out a sigh, here goes nothing.   
  


"Hi Trunks." I said quietly, barely audible enough for any normal person to hear, but we are half Saiyan, so I knew he heard me. He sat next to me, lifting his knees to his chin and wrapping his arms around them tightly.   
  


"So this is where you've been hiding."   
  


I looked at him, but his eyes were glued to the horizon, much as mine had been only moments before.   
  


"I wasn't hiding, and besides you could've just done a ki search if you wanted to find me." I could see a smirk brush over his lips as he chuckled.   
  


"Now where's the fun in that, I like the challenge of finding my pray."   
  


I blinked at that and it was my turn to smirk.   
  


"So I'm your pray now?"   
  


"Maybe." I had to laugh, he turned his eyes from the city lights and looked at me playfully. "And what is so funny?"   
  


"You sounded just like Vegeta when you said that!"   
  


He started to chuckle and before we knew it we were both laughing so hard we had to hold our stomachs to prevent them from bursting. Trunks brushed the tears from his eyes and sobered up a bit.   
  


"Do you really think I'm like Tousan?" I wiped the tears onto my sleeve and smiled up at his now relaxed, cheerful face.   
  


"Oh sure, not many people see it, but when you've known someone as long as I've known you, you defiantly see that you are your fathers son."   
  


"Most people think I'm more like Kaasan," His face fell a bit and he looked back out at the city lights, "she's been bugging me to get married again."   
  


My heart skipped a beat and I had to force myself not to get angry.   
  


"Are you seeing anyone?"   
  


"No."   
  


I sighed in relief and listened as he continued on.   
  


"There's this girl at work my mother wants me to start dating, her name's Ashleigh."   
  


I looked at him confused. He caught the look in my eye and sighed heavily.   
  


"Kaasan's been keeping an eye on me lately, I think it's because she wants me to take over the company here, so she's evaluating my progress. Anyway, Ashleigh is her contact and so she has to follow me around while I work. I don't mind really, but she has this huge crush on me and keeps asking me if I want to go out with her. I would've used the excuse that I was seeing someone but Kaasan already told her I was single. She really wants me to settle down and have children, and I want that too, it's just I don't like..."   
  


He paused then and my eyes widened as he looked at me.   
  


"to date anyone from the work place."   
  


I nodded and he smiled at me. I didn't want to push the issue, I could see that he was pretty stressed out about it, but there was just something I had to know.   
  


"What are you going to do?"   
  


He blinked at me, a little confused that I would push it further, but swallowed hard and looked out at the horizon again.   
  


"I guess I'll do my best to ignore it. I love my mother and I know she wants what's best for me, but maybe she'll lay off it after a while, I dunno."   
  


Trunks shifted uncomfortably and I immediately dropped the subject.   
  


"So how long are you staying for?" He smiled at me appreciatively.   
  


"I have to be back on boxing day, I flew here myself because I couldn't stand being away for Christmas. But I have to be back on boxing day or people will get suspicious."   
  


I raised a sad eyebrow at him, I was upset that he was leaving so soon but I was going to make the most out of the time we had.   
  


"What did you tell Jen?" He laughed and punched me in the shoulder.   
  


"That I was flying home for Christmas."   
  


I stared at him and he laughed good heartedly at my confusion.   
  


"She knows about us Saiyans, Kaasan told her before I came, she was warning her of how much I eat."   
  


I laughed at that, glad that Trunks didn't have to hide who he really was.   
  


"So I thought living with her was only temporary."   
  


"Well it was at first, but I find I really like having someone to talk to, I mean other then you when I write you."   
  


I smiled at that and leaned back against the chimney.   
  


"I'm glad you have someone to talk to."   
  


"Don't you?" He looked at me sadly and I let out a sigh.   
  


"I talk to Gohan, sometimes Videl. I told you before I don't want to meet new people, the ones I have are fine."   
  


"You never used to be this antisocial."   
  


"I always had you to meet people with. It's no fun without you."   
  


"I really have missed you Chibi."   
  


"I missed you too."   
  


We stayed up all night on that roof, talking and laughing about old times, talking about our futures, hopes and dreams (minus my Trunks fantasy). We connected again, like so many other times in the past, but with the spark I felt between us those few hours ago. When he left in the morning I didn't cry; I hugged him tightly, letting him know I would write him soon. As he 

flew off I smiled, something was happening between us, I knew it was, and I knew we would be together someday.   
  


But I was wrong then, and I wanted to kick myself for ever letting my hopes up.   
  


*End of Flashback*   
  


The tears flowed freely as I wrote, little drops falling dead on the paper, smudging the ink. I poured my heart onto the paper, writing down everything I'd felt since the day he left.   
  


Dearest Trunks,   
  


I realized something as I read your letter, I should've told you everything when I had the chance. I'm going to tell you now because I can't let you go on with this wedding until you know how I feel. 

First off, I don't want you getting married! unless, that is, it's to me. I love you Trunks, I have for a long time now and I was so afraid to tell you. I thought you'd hate me or worse, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship. When you left I was a mess, no! it's worse then what I told you. I couldn't eat, I was barely sleeping and I hardly left my room. I was sick without you, like someone had brutally torn off a Vidal piece of me. I thought I was going to die without you, much as I feel now. I cried everyday for the first 2 months you were gone and when I got your first letter, I read it so much the paper was worn out. 

I only told you half the truth as to why I left home. Remember I told you we got into a huge fight about school? Well we got into a huge fight but it wasn't about school, it was about you. She insulted your family, called them all bloodthirsty, and because I love you so I had to leave. How could I stay with someone who hated the family of the only one I love? I couldn't! There 

was no way I could listen to it. I stayed in a cave for a month! I didn't want to stay at home with that Hydra! I know I told you that I went with my father to a cabin, I'm sorry I lied, but yes 

I am living with Gohan now. 

I didn't want to go to your house Bulma's for Christmas, not without you being there. Gohan and Videl all but dragged me there and all the happiness of the house kept me there, that is until you showed up. Never thinking any differently, I stayed because of you. 

Do you remember when we were in your room, and you asked me what I was thinking? 

I was thinking about you, making love to you. I wanted you then and heaven help me I want you now. 

I'm feeling sick again, for I feel like I've lost you. I love you so much I think I'll die without you. Without you I'm nothing, a walking zombie with no purpose. You told me once that we'd always be together and I swore you felt the same way I did after you left again, but I guess I was wrong. Or was I? 

I can only think of two reasons why you would marry her. 

One, your mother really got under your skin and you felt you had to make her happy, or two you really love her and everything I felt between us was wrong. I find it hard to believe that you truly love her, not after everything you said to me about her, not after you almost kissed me! 

Dammit why Trunks! I love you so much, why can't you love me too! We are two halves of one soul, you tell me that often enough, so why Trunks? I swear Trunks, you may not feel the same way about me, but I will always be faithful to you, I could never in good conscience be with anyone else. It would only hurt the other person, and drag them down into my twisted emotional maze. 

I will go to your wedding, if only to see with my own eyes that you truly love her, and not me.   
  


Love always and forever 

Goten.   
  


I stared down at the letter, shaking with rage and desperation as I picked it up and folded it neatly. I savagely ransacked my desk for an envelop and shoved the letter inside. I was trembling so bad I could barely write the name and address down. My eyes steamed with tears as I gripped the envelop, ready to send it to its destination.   
  


I stood up and walked to the door. I could hear voices downstairs and figured Pan was home for lunch; I didn't want to embarrass her or myself so I stayed in my room, staring at the letter in my cool, shaking hands.   
  


I laid down on my bed and cried, hugging my sides and curled my knees up to my chest. I exhausted myself with my sorrow, I knew, so I didn't struggle when sleep came to claim me.   
  
  
  


It was like a painting, clear night sky littered with stars above this garden of wild flowers. The air was warm and smelt of sweet perfume and I felt content and free. The full moon beamed its enchanting glow upon my garden, illuminating the fascinating colours of each petal and I bent down to touch them.   
  


Why did this place feel so familiar?   
  


My fingers brushed over the velvety soft flowers and I smiled as little drops of colour would splash onto my hand. I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and I knew who it was; of course, this is our garden and I was dreaming. I leaned back against him and his sweet lips grazed my flushed cheeks.   
  


"Don't push me away Chibi."   
  


I turned my head to look at Trunks who had a serious look on his handsome face. I turned around so we were face to face and shook my head vigorously.   
  


"I'm not, I just don't understand..."   
  


"You do understand Chibi, you just don't want to believe it."   
  


"How could I? you're going to marry someone else."   
  


He hugged me tightly to him and gently stroked my hair. His fingers played masterfully with every strand, lulling me to calm, and I melted into his embrace. I closed my eyes tightly against his chest, wishing this wasn't a dream.   
  


"You're not going to lose me, I will always be with you, if you can't see that by now then you're more of a baka then I thought."   
  


I smiled at that, and gently cuddled into his warm embrace, like a child in a parents lap.   
  


"It feels like it."   
  


He kissed my forehead and looked into my eyes, his warm hand on my cheek. I turned into his hand, kissing his palm and holding his hand to my face. He leaned forward and I closed my eyes, feeling his warm breath against my lips. My body tingled as he lightly brushed his lips against my waiting mouth.   
  


"I'll always love you Chibi, don't push me away because of this."   
  
  
  


My eyes shot open and darkness surrounded me. I panicked and sat up, not remembering where I was. My eyes focused on the clock at my bedside, 8:30pm, and I relaxed as I realized I was in my room.   
  


8:30pm! I must've been really tired, I don't think I'll sleep anymore tonight.   
  


I sighed and shifted to get off my bed when something brushed against my hand; the letter I wrote. I stared at it, remembering every word, every feeling I poured onto that paper and bit my lip as his words flashed through my mind, 'Don't push me away Chibi.' I blinked and stared at the envelop again, wondering what to do.   
  


If I send this am I pushing him away? I don't want that! that's the whole reason why I didn't tell him in the first place. I stood up and walked to my desk again and, turning on the lamp, pulled out some paper and a pen.   
  


I won't push him away from me, he may be getting married but he's still my friend, and he still loves me, he doesn't deserve to be hurt.   
  


Dear Trunks,   
  


I'm so happy for you! you finally decided to take the plunge eh? Well I'm sure your mother is ecstatic, she can finally have grandchildren. You know she's just going to find something else to rag on you about now, haha you just can't win. Anyway you can count on me being there, I wouldn't miss my best friend's wedding! and hey I'll finally be able to meet Jen! I'm kinda looking forward to it, she sounds like fun, so make sure she knows that I'm coming and can eat twice as much as you :) 

You know I'll be your best man! why, if you thought you had a choice you must be more in love then I thought. 

I'm not seeing anyone at all so it'll just be me, myself and I, but that's ok because then I have more time to spend with you. 

Besides it's best to go to one of these things single anyway, you don't go to a buffet after you've eaten right? Haha yeah that's right, I'm always thinking about food, but hey so do you :P I can just see you scowling at me from here so just knock it off :) I assume you're inviting everyone (is Pan gonna be upset) but I think I'll come earlier, avoid the crowd, that was I can help out with the whole set up and stuff. It'll be less stressful that way and you won't end up blasting the catering service! Anyway I gotta run I'm starving.   
  


See ya soon 

Goten.   
  


My alarm buzzed painfully through the silence of my room and I growled at the invasion. I slammed down on the snooze button and rolled over, pulling the sheets around my shoulders. I had not slept well last night, my mind kept drifting back to Trunks's letter, about how he was getting ma...mar..I can't even think about it!   
  


I looked out the window and the sun shone brightly, lifting my mood slightly. I knew I wouldn't get anymore sleep so I rolled lazily out of bed and thumped over to my shower for a quick pick-me-up.   
  


I should send it soon, I've already put it off for 3 days. I guess I figured the longer I put it off the less likely it was that this was real, but I couldn't put it off anymore, this is painfully real. 

My clock read 8:34am and I was running late for school. I quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and, grabbing my books, ran downstairs.   
  


Pan was sitting at the table, entrenched in a bowl of Captain Crunch and reading one of her books. She smiled at me from her book and I grinned through my stuffed cheeks, cramming food into my mouth.   
  


"Morning Uncle Goten! you're running a little late today."   
  


I swallowed my breakfast and grabbed a glass of orange juice, chugging it hastily.   
  


"Yeah I guess I took too long in the shower." I lied, grabbing my back pack and loading it full of books. I couldn't tell her that I've been having problems sleeping again, she worried so much when Trunks left and I wasn't sleeping, I didn't want to worry her again.   
  


Pan gave me an astonished look as her eyes fell on the stack of books inside my bag.   
  


"Is college hard?" I looked up at that and laughed at the panic in her young eyes.   
  


"No Pan, it's not, there's just a lot of work to do. Don't worry, it won't seem so bad when you get there."   
  


She smiled affectionately at me and I winked at her. She so innocent and young, so much like me when I was her age. It's funny, how long ago that seems, and although I'm a Saiyan and live naturally into the 300 mark, I started to feel old. Where did the time go?   
  


Ah yes, I spent it with Trunks and I wouldn't go back and change it if I could.   
  


The clock on the wall reminded me that is was 8:55am and I ran to the door, grabbing my back pack and throwing my shoes on. I opened the door and was about to run when I remembered the letter. I don't have enough time to get it and mail it, damn I wish I'd learn dad's instant transmittion.   
  


"Pan can you do me a favour before you leave?"   
  


"Sure Uncle Goten!" She leapt out of her chair and ran towards me.   
  


"In my room there's a letter on my desk, all you have to do is mail it for me ok."   
  


"Sure think Uncle Goten! I'll go do that right now." She skipped happily towards the stairs and gave me a wink over her shoulder.   
  


"Thank a bunch."   
  


I closed the door behind me and took off for school, praying to Kami that I wasn't too late.   
  
  
  


I opened the door slowly, the house drowning in darkness as I blindly ran my hand along the wall and flicked the switch, filling the room with light. I wearily put my back pack on the chair by the door and kicked my shoes off, placing them side by side in front of the wall. The faint smell of food wafted through the house and my stomach growled loudly as I absently walked to the kitchen. I got home late, as I have every day for the past 2 weeks and Gohan and Videl had left me some food from supper. I was so hungry I could barely move.   
  


I didn't like coming home so late, everyone was always in bed and I enjoyed talking to my family, telling how my day was and listening to Pan's little gibblings about her friends and school. I barely get to see them anymore but I had so much work to do and I wanted to get as much done as possible so that I could leave early to see Trunks. I'm sure they understand and I'm sure they know that if I had a choice, I would spend more time with them. I always make sure they know how much I love them.   
  


I opened the microwave and was greeted with the wonderful sight of a mountain of food, just waiting for me to attack it. My mouth watered as I took the plate out of it's confined prison and, walking to the drawer to grab a fork, I put them on the table. I walked back to the refrigerator to grab something to drink and I had to stifled a yawn. I was tired, but it would be worth it in the end.   
  


I explained my situation to my professors and, considering my high grades and the fact that my finals were all conveniently inclass exams, agreed to let me do them early. If I kept working this hard I could have my classes finished in a few weeks, and I could stay with Trunks for a whole month before the dreaded day.   
  


Not that I liked the idea of seeing Trunks swoon over this woman for a whole month before he marries her. In fact, just thinking about it makes me want to hurl! But I want to see him, and I can suffer through this if it means that I get to spend more time with him. As mean as it sounds, I don't really believe that he loves her, and I can't move on until I know for sure and the best way to find out is to see it with my own skeptical eyes.   
  


I finished my dinner in a matter of minutes, nothing new for a hungry Saiyan, and cleared my dishes from the table when I saw a letter on the counter: a letter from Trunks, It was odd to get one so soon after sending him a letter of my own, but I wasn't going to complain.   
  


I hovered slowly up to my room, careful not to wake anyone and turning the lights off behind me. When I got to my room I shut the door quietly and sat on my bed, turning the lamp on as I tore open the thin envelop. I unfolded the letter and frowned sadly at the single page of writing in my hands. His letters are getting shorter.   
  


Dear Goten, 

Well we've already started making plans for this shindig of ours! I got a call from Kaasan and boy is she happy. Tousan is unimpressed but I don't suspect he would be. When you come down you're going to stay with Jen and I so I need you to give me a call, you still have my number right? Good! Anyway how are things? Are you over the shock yet? Well don't dwell on it too much Chibi, it was bound to happen, although I always thought you'd be married before me considering how social you are...or used to be. Things have a strange way of turning out differently then what we expect, but in the end, we can always count on our friends :) So you're almost finished school eh? I'm glad to hear that's going well, at least you don't have your mother hounding you and stressing you out anymore. You seem so much happier living with Gohan, and don't tell me you're not cause I can tell! I am your best friend after all. Oh I'm so excited for you to come down! Jen's looking forward to it too, she's already stocking up on food even though we aren't expecting you for at least a month. Although if you could come earlier that would be cool too! No pressure though. Ok well I gotta run, Ashleigh's waiting for me. I'm so sorry my letters are so short, but I'll be seeing you soon anyway so you can wait to hear all the other goods. Call me!   
  


Love ya 

Trunks.   
  


I vaguely thought it was strange that he didn't seem to have responded much to my last letter. Must be all the excitement, it's not everyday you decide to marry someone you aren't in love with. No, I shouldn't say that, he probably does love her, I'm just sour about it I guess. It should be me! shouldn't it?   
  


I folded the precious paper, stuffed it back in the envelop and walked towards my desk. I looked down at the clutter of papers and books and saw a closed envelop sitting on the messy surface, the letter I never sent, the other obviously mailed. I traced the corner with my finger, memories of emotions trickling solemnly through my memory as I remembered when I wrote it. A small tear escaped my eyes and tickled my cheek as it slid, mournfully down my crestfallen face. I shook my head and brushed the tear off from my skin and picked up the letter abruptly. I didn't want anyone to read what my heart had poured out, I didn't want to remember at all.   
  


I've had enough of pain!   
  


My feet slapped my bedroom floor with a familiar irritation as I walked to my night table. I knelt down and pulled out a light blue duffle bag and shoved the letter inside, with the rest of Trunks's old letters, and locked it back in my night table, putting the key in its usual spot under my alarm clock. I knew it was safe there, locked away from the world like I had done to my heart.   
  
  
  


I spent that last month working as hard as I could, and it paid off. I wrote my exams early, acing almost every one, and spent the week before my departure getting ready for the long trip ahead of me. Gohan insisted that I take a commercial flight, seeing as it would be easier then trying to fly me and my luggage over to a continent I've never been to before. I guess he was right, but I hate planes and I would have rather flown myself.   
  


I had put off packing until the night before I was supposed to leave, thinking it would give me something to do when the inevitable insomnia kept me awake all night. That was one of the stupidest ideas I've ever come up with.   
  


I threw my suit case on the edge of my bed and began frantically rummaging through my dresser, throwing clothes over my shoulder. I had been excited to leave, so much in fact that it had kept me from sleeping almost all week, and my stupid sleep deprived body decided that last night it was going to sleep!   
  


I woke up groggily to sun beaming over the horizon and I realized that I had exactly 2 hours to get ready! And I still haven't packed yet!   
  


I packed up almost everything item of clothing I owned, laying them as neatly as I could into my suit case. I ran quickly to my night stand and, unlocking it, I grabbed my duffle bag and threw it next to my suit case. I zipped up my suit case and took a quick look around my room. I was feeling a little homesick already but I brushed off the uncomfortable feeling and quickly headed for my door, taking my suit case and duffle bag with me.   
  
  
  


I had become rather uncomfortable inside airports, I mean after seeing my friend off the first time, and it being the most miserable experience of my life, no one could blame me. This time, though it was a happier occasion and everyone saw me off with a smile, except Bra. She looked horribly unhappy, and when I hugged her, she held me tight and whispered in my ear, 'Don't let him make a mistake he can't fix.' She gave me a soft smile and stood proudly beside Vegeta, much like she always does. I blinked at her, thoroughly confused.   
  


I would've questioned her but the last boarding call came and my father grabbed me in a huge bear hug.   
  


I could see them as the plane took off, waving at me frantically and I smiled at their display of love. The world got smaller and smaller as the plane climbed into the sky and I sighed.   
  


Soon I would see him again and I beamed at the thought. I had asked him not to bring Ashleigh when he picked me up, telling him I would be grouchy and a complete mess, and that I wanted to make a good first impression. I knew I was just putting off the inevitable but I wasn't ready to meet the woman that was about to take my best friend from me. I shouldn't hate her for that, but I will always resent her for it, whether she deserves it or not. I hate being so vengeful! it's so unlike me and it always makes me feel ugly and dark, but love does that to people, I guess.   
  


My stomach growled and I grumbled, annoyed. Lunch wouldn't be served for quite a while yet, my horrendous appetite really sucks sometimes. I picked up my carry-on bad and leafed through it, searching for the snakes through all Trunks's old letters I brought to keep me occupied.   
  


I found the secret compartment I used to keep all my food capsules, and sitting right next to it was an unopened letter addressed to Trunks.   
  


Of course! the letter I didn't send, I had forgotten that I put it in my duffle bad. I picked it up and opened it, feeling like I needed to remember how I felt that day. I tore open the envelop and unfolded it reading it to myself.   
  


'Dear Trunks   
  


'I'm so happy for you! you finally decided to take the plunge eh?...'   
  


I stared down at the paper, swallowing the lump that had made its way to my dry throat. This was the letter that Trunks was supposed to get...But Pan mailed it...she mailed the wrong letter!   
  


My mouth went dry and my body shivered with cold sweat. Trunks got the first letter! He knows everything!   
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Letters: Chapter four (a)

Hey peeps!   
  


Sorry this took me so long to get out...and this is only the first half of the chapter (part b is just as long...if not longer.) But I figured I've left you hanging for far too long. Part b will be out as soon as I'm done revising...I'm a little nuts when it comes to revising but I am finishing the fic! So don't worry.....annyway here ya go the first part of chapter 4   
  


Disclaimer: Don't own them..please don't sue me!   
  
  
  


Letters: 4a   
  
  
  
  
  


I must've stared at each word of that letter a million times before my brain started working and my mouth moistened up again.   
  


Ok so what? He got my first letter instead...so what if he knows how I've felt since the day I knew what the words meant.   
  


I laughed shakily and ran a quivering hand through my hair. 

It isn't that bad...   
  


Suddenly my throat became dry again and I nearly backhanded the flight attendant as she walked by, begging for water. She hastily brought me a glass, probably noticing the urgency in my expression, and the way I almost tore her arm off. I choked back 9 glasses before the panic of the situation set in and the walls of the plane started to push towards me.   
  


This wasn't happening! I must be in some sort of crazy nightmare or something....yeah that was it, it was just a nightmare. If I pinch myself then I'll wake up the day before I got Trunks's marriage announcement and I'll laugh about this later.   
  


I pinched my arm roughly, only awakening a small shriek from my trembling lungs as a small bruise formed on my arm where my nails had just attacked. 

Dammit! This isn't a dream!!   
  


My lungs began to contract painfully and I forced myself to take a few deep breaths, watching as the plane evened out. My eyes on the sky kept my misted mind in focus as we flew calmly over a thin, endless layer of dust-coated clouds floating lazily passed me; the true contrast to my inner turmoil. I had to think this thing through thoroughly.   
  


I've talked to him since the day Pan sent the letter and he didn't say a word about it. Hell, I even talked to him yesterday on the phone and everything seemed fine! He sounded exactly the way he always does.   
  


I bit my bottom lip in thought...something was definitely out of place. 

It could be that he doesn't want to embarrass me, or...maybe he doesn't think of me that way and is trying to forget about it completely.   
  


I shook my head quickly before the little evil bud of despair could blossom further into something more ugly and permanent. No! That wasn't like Trunks at all, when something confronted him he made damn sure it was resolved, and quickly. But this was unlike him too, I just don't get it!   
  


I closed my eyes against my confusion, choosing the familiar anxiousness that always came when I thought of seeing him. The feeling came as always, but was different from the anxiety I was used to. This was like a nervous, terrified anxious, and although the feeling was nauseating, it was much more comfortable then the complete confusion and pain that was bubbling to the surface.   
  


God! What the hell was I going to do! I had to think of something and quick! 

I wish I'd never written that letter!   
  


I could almost see the small glimmers of hope flash above my head as a thought occurred to me.   
  


Maybe he didn't get it. It wouldn't be the first time one of my letters got lost in the mail. That would explain why Trunks wasn't acting any differently, AND would save my butt!   
  


I silently prayed that if there is any being out there that cares at all about my life then the post office lost the cursed thing! 

I started to calm down a bit at the thought that maybe I wasn't doomed after all. I even got my appetite back enough to choke down some of the disgusting airline food.   
  


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  


The plane had finally landed after a long, grueling 10 hours but I was reluctant to leave the plane. The nagging thought of Trunks and the letter were still burning deep, painfully nervous welts into my brain, and I knew I'd break into a thousand pieces if his silence was, in fact, a rejection. 

I peeled myself off of my seat and grabbed my duffle bag, slinging it over my shoulder and heading out of the plane and into the airport.   
  


Sure enough, it was raining and the grey clouds hung low and taunting in the sky, waiting to fall and blind the bright city. It was dark out, but the vibrant lights of the city illuminated the clouds, forcing the night to brighten its solemn features for the night owls. I had never seen so many lights before and their sheer brilliance was enough to dull the agitation that had only increased since we landed. Each bulb of light sparked with glamour; twinkling promises of excitement and intoxicated joy drawing my eyes, and everyone else's with me.   
  


I've always wondered what it was like, to live in a city so full of life, sugar-sweet delirium at all hours of the day and night. A complete contradiction to the small town I lived in, where everything closes at 9pm. 

I can't wait to go for coffee at 3 in the morning!   
  


"Goten over here!"   
  


My head snapped away from the city and fell on a much more exotic sight: a bundle of purple hair, bouncing above the crowed to get my attention. My anxiety returned, making my shoulders stiffen painfully and my back tense bitterly.   
  


He looked the same, beautiful and breathtaking as he always was. His hair was a little longer then I remember, grazing his neck seductively as I absently licked my dry lips. He was wearing a business suit and I assumed he'd just gotten off work. The dark beige fabric hugged his figure professionally, giving him the look of a president. A playful grin came across my placid face and I suddenly got the urge to play 'Boss and Secretary'.   
  


The sudden heat between my legs and a squeal from a young child snapped me back into the agonizing reality of my situation.   
  


If the letter didn't give away how I felt then my 'creative' imagination is going to bring the truth, painfully to the surface. I'm never going to make it!   
  


I walked, nervously towards him, noting any facial features that might give away that he knew something...but all I saw was the brightest smile I'd ever seen and only for me.   
  


"Geez buddy, you look so pale, the food wasn't that bad was it?"   
  


He put a friendly arm around my shoulders and hugged me to him. I could feel the heat start to rise again and I fought like a mad man to keep my hormones in check, focusing on anything to keep my dirty mind off that game I wanted to play.   
  


The tone in his voice was kind and cheery, no hints of regret, confusion, or anything that would even suggest that he knew anything at all. I smiled to myself as we pushed passed the large groups of people.   
  


I love the post office!   
  


"Naa, the food was fine, I'm just really tired. That's the last time I let Gohan talk me into taking a commercial flight."   
  


He laughed good heartedly and led me over to the baggage claim.   
  


"Why do you think I flew down on my own for Christmas? I'm too impatient to sit there idly for Kami knows how long!"   
  


"I'd feel sorry for the flight attendances."   
  


He laughed cheerfully, the sound of sweet chiming in my ears as I grabbed my suitcases and we walked towards the door.   
  


The front doors opened with a whispered 'swoosh' and we stepped through into the smokey, damp parking lot. Trunks pushed passed me, pulling a group of jingling keys from his suit pocket and stopping in front of a black, sleek hover car.   
  


"You brought the car?" I asked, setting my bags down beside the passenger door.   
  


He smiled at me, slipping a key into the door, and turning it quickly. The lock clicked free and he opened it for me, before gracefully walking over to the trunk and threw my bags inside.   
  


"You didn't expect me to carry your bags to the other end of town did you?"   
  


"No I thought we'd fly..."   
  


"In a big city like this, you must be tired."   
  


I blushed and stepped into the car, closing my door as the smell of clean leather invaded my nostrils. I sat still, watching with child-like fascination as Trunks walked over to his side of the car. He was still the boy I knew so long ago, the boy that I played with and planned tricks with. You could see it in his step, still bouncy and full of childish mystery. I wondered absently if he knew how young he really looked as he opened the driver side door and stepped in.   
  


We sped away quickly, the lights of the city molding and flashing passed us in one Gestalt line. I couldn't peel my eyes off the bustling energy of the city, people walking happily up and down the street: skin of every natural shade, hair colours ranging from black to flourescent blue, people dressed in everything from business suits to practically nothing at all. There were people in groups, some in pairs, some alone. As we stopped at a red light, my eyes fell on a couple embracing each other tightly. I could see the face of the man resting comfortably on a woman's shoulders, a look of mourning on his face. The woman had her back to me but I could see the sad tension in the way she held herself. I smiled as she whispered something and he smiled sadly, obviously preparing to depart. When they pulled apart my breath caught as I realized they were both men and before I had a chance to question it, we sped off as the light flashed green. I look towards Trunks, his eyes snapping back towards the road, averting his attention from me.   
  


"Trunks," I began, looking back out at the city.   
  


"Hmm."   
  


"Do you think it's strange to live in a city like this?."   
  


He looked at me questioningly and I cleared my dry throat.   
  


"I mean, where people are so....different."   
  


"No not really. This is where you get to see the real side of people ya know...and with all the diversity, I don't feel so strange being who I am, even though it would still be considered freaky."   
  


I nodded and looked back at his face which had fallen sadly, if only for a moment. I knew how he felt. He wanted to be normal, to live a normal life and not the life of a Saiyan. When we were young, we were proud of the strength and power we inherited, all we wanted then was to be like our fathers. But, as we grew so did our opinions on the matter. I did my best to focus on teenage things, like girls and food and issues I couldn't control. Trunks wanted to be a regular kid, with regular friends and a regular family, and it always bothered him inside, even though he tried to hide it. He was the man who could create almost anything...he was a real genius, with money to spare and could have anything he wanted, except this. He would convince himself of his normality every day, pretending that his father wasn't royalty, pretending he wasn't his father son. Not that the idea of being Vegeta son ever bothered him, it was the alien heritage that pumped through his veins that ate away at any chance, he thought, of having a normal life. He knew, that of all the inventions, money and creativity he held in his power, this was something he couldn't have, not truly. It humbled him, he stayed beside me and I him. he belongs with me, the only one who understands him for what he truly is: A half-breed who only wants to be whole.   
  


We rounded a corner and stopped in front of a high apartment building that seemed to kiss the sensuously grey sky. Trunks and I stepped out of his car and he graciously grabbed my bags and we headed inside.   
  


The lobby was large and bright, two couches grazed either wall, gold and blue coloured paint adorned the wall while two long mirrors coated the entrance like ice. The elevator door was nestled snugly in between the large mirrors; soft 'dings' sounded from it as Trunks pressed the call button. It opened with a loud ring and the smell of smoke and perfume hit my nose like a bat to the head as we walked into it.   
  


The doors closed behind us and Trunks's finger pushed gently on the number 44 and I stood at his side, tense, dizzy and nervous. I felt like a statue on a tilt-a-whirl!   
  


There was a long silence, the only sound was the constant 'ding' as we rushed passed each floor and each floor rung in my ears with painful inevitability. I nearly jumped out of my skin as Trunks put a reassuring hand on my squared shoulders. He smiled kindly and contracted his hand, gently massaging my covered skin.   
  


"Don't be nervous, Jen's really nice trust me."   
  


I sighed and leaned into him, letting his arm fall over my shoulders and hang limply over my own.   
  


"I trust you, I just hope she likes me."   
  


"Trust me Chibi, she already does."   
  


I jumped again as the sudden halt of the elevator coming to its final stop. The door slid open with the same piercing ring and Trunks laughed as we stepped out of the elevator. The hall was narrow and long, the shaggy brown carpet sent small waves of static to my fingers and a tiny spark sounded when I touched the wall. Brown doors littered the sides of the hall, you could hear noises emanating from some of them, sliding under the door for any voyeuristic guests who were just passing through. The golden numbers on the doors sparkled as they counted down: 4410, 4409, 4408...Trunks picked up his pace and we stopped at the number I've written down a thousand times: 4405. I could feel the sweat oozing down my forehead and my palms became wet and shaky.   
  


Why was I so nervous?   
  


Because this was the person Trunks had confided in for almost a year. She was my double, sorta. I was looking forward to meeting her, really I was...I was just afraid too. Afraid that she knew the pieces of him that I'd missed over the year. Afraid that, in my absence, she became something to Trunks that I wasn't. I thrived on the relationship I have with him, it's the only one I can have. He was my other half...I don't like to share him.   
  


He opened the door and I was violently pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of high pitched feminine laughter. I swallowed hard and rubbed my sopping palms over my jacket nervously...Oh God she has company.   
  


"Jen has her friends over, don't worry they know you're coming."   
  


I gulped as Trunks shooed me into the direction of the voices and I skipped down the tiny hallway to where the noises were. I might as well make the best of it.   
  


Five woman sat gossiping at a small table in the middle of the dining room, coffee cups littered the surface like ants at a picnic, smiles on their flushed cheeks. As I got closer, the voices stopped and all eyes were on me. I smiled as kindly as I could and waved at them enthusiastically.   
  


"Hi there ladies."   
  


The bubbly blond's gaze turned on me and her big, blue eyes glinted with mischief and something else I couldn't place, and didn't want to.   
  


"So," She started, standing up and walking towards me in an intimidating fashion, "you must be Goten."   
  


I nodded and all 10 eyes were now scorching me with curiosity.   
  


"Trunks! Aren't you going to introduce us?" The darker haired girl yelled, sounding more then a little annoyed.   
  


"I'm putting his bags away Venessa! Simmer!"   
  


Venessa cringed and shot a cold glare down the hallway, and I had a hunch that Trunks could feel it.   
  


"Do you have a death wish?" I gaped at her rudeness, and the blonde put a comforting hand on my shoulder.   
  


"She always acts like that. Don't worry, it's just the way she is."   
  


I smiled faintly and she flashed me a bright smile. Trunks came up behind me, shuffling his feet as he walked and stood next to me.   
  


"Ok Goten this is Jen," Trunks began pointing to the blonde who was standing on the other side of me.   
  


I figured as much.   
  


"And you've already been graced with Venessa's presence."   
  


"Damn straight!" Venessa said, leaning back in her chair with an award winning smile on her chubby face.   
  


Trunks rolled his eyes and pointed to the girl with shoulder length blond hair.   
  


"And Goten this is Kelly."   
  


"Hi Goten! Nice to meet you." She waved her hand, smiling brightly.   
  


"Nice to meet you too."   
  


"That's Johanna." He pointed to a smaller looking, surly woman with shoulder length, dyed red hair. She didn't say anything but simply nodded her head, acknowledging my existence. Somehow I felt proud just to have her even give me a nod, she has the air of Vegeta around her.   
  


"And last but not least, that's Sarah." He pointed to the girl with short, brown hair, as short as Videl's actually.   
  


"Hey there." She chimed, picking up her cup and sipping it slowly.   
  


I flashed my best 'Son Goten' smiled at the group, relaxing significantly at the warm atmosphere that surrounded each person.   
  


Jen put her cool hand on my shoulder again and smiled brightly at me.   
  


"I'm so glad to finally meet you! Trunks talks of no one else and now I have a face to the legend!" 

I blushed slightly and turned to see Trunks beaming proudly...his smile is like the sun and I always crave its warmth.   
  


"I've heard a lot about you too Jen, thanks for taking care of the baka."   
  


Trunks punched me playfully in the shoulder and crossed over to the kitchen leafing through the many cupboards, and pulling out large amounts of food.   
  


"You must be starving Chibi, you always are." I smiled at that and sat down at the table.   
  


"So Goten, are you ready to see Trunks make a fool out of himself in front of his friends and family?" Jen asked, a fanciful smirk grazing her lips. 

My face fell for a second but I forced the feeling down and let out a small sigh.   
  


"I'm always up to seeing Trunks humiliate himself."   
  


"Live here, it happens more often then not." Venessa said, glancing over her shoulder and smiling in triumph as Trunks grunted in annoyance, still grabbing food from the cupboards.   
  


"How long are you staying for Goten?" Kelly asked, lighting the air around the room.   
  


"About 2 months, I was only gonna stay for a month but I got everything done early so I had an extra month to spare and I couldn't think of a better way to spend my time then with my best friend. I wanted to help out too, things are going to start getting hectic when the wedding gets closer...Trunks doesn't do well under stress, but I'm sure you've noticed."   
  


Sarah laughed lightly, standing up and walking towards the kitchen sink.   
  


"Oh we know...all too well."   
  


I laughed as Sarah put a cup of coffee in front of me. I took a sip and smiled to myself, it's my favorite kind: Irish mocha.   
  


"Well that was nice of you, I'm sure Trunks appreciates the help." Johanna stated flatly, arms crossed over her chest and scowling in a friendly manner. I thought it odd that she could come off so intimidating yet still be relaxed enough to look comfortable where ever she is. She is way too much like Vegeta.   
  


"Well I'm sure Jen will let you stay as long as you want, and you're always welcome." Kelly chimed. I smiled in appreciation and Kelly grinned back.   
  


I almost jumped out of my seat when Jen spoke. Her voice is quite loud, or maybe it's just my sensitive ears.   
  


"Damn Straight!! You can stay as long as you want! Besides, any friend of Trunksy is a friend of mine." She stood up and lightly pinched my cheek. I laughed nervously and she winked at me.   
  


Trunks took this time to come back to the dining room carrying a large amount of food and a bottle of pop under one arm, his cheeks stained with the ghost of a blush. He stood next to me and motioned for me to stand up, I was more then willing to comply.   
  


"Well Ladies as wonderful as it always is to see you again, I'm taking my friend back, Jen I'll be in my room if you need me."   
  


"Sure thing, just clean up after you're done ok."   
  


"Yeah, yeah." Trunks motioned for me to follow him and I turned back briefly.   
  


"It was nice to meet you all."   
  


I almost keeled over at the loud display of appreciation. They sure are a loud bunch.   
  


I followed Trunks through the living room and down a narrow hallway, passing a small bathroom on the right, a closed door with a plastic canvas cloud, the word 'Quiet' written above a teddy bear, hanging on the door knob: That must be Jen's room. There was a door at the end of the hall, which Trunks opened slowly due to all the stuff he was carrying and walked in. As I followed him, I saw another room kiddy corner to Trunks's where my bags sat on the bed. That must be my room.   
  


I turned my head back into the room and gasped at how different it was then my expectations. His floor should be flawless, not a piece of clothing to be seen, everything in here should be neatly placed, organized and sparkling with cleanliness. Instead there was paper, books and assorted clothing covering the floor; so much that you couldn't see the carpet. The drawer on the computer desk was open with papers and documents hanging out in every direction, empty dishes off to the side. The only contrast was his neatly made bed, a pale blue comforter ironed neatly over a Queen sized mattress with fluffy pillows kissing the headboard.   
  


Trunks sat on the bed, laying against the headboard, and placing the food on his thighs sighing in a relaxed 'I just got of work and needed my bed' way. He stretched out like a cat on a mountain of feathers, his graceful limbs reaching outward to release some of the tension the day had collected in them. His back arched forward slightly, eyes squeezed shut as he wriggled into a half sitting, half laying position and I smiled at his elegance. He was a prince, in all his glory and I love him all the more for it.   
  


I followed his lead and walked through the clutter to the other side of the bed, laying in the same position as Trunks, though not as gracefully. A comfortable silence enveloped us and I turned to see Trunks, eyes closed softly, with a content little smile on his bewitching lips. I smiled at the how familiar it felt: I felt at home, and I didn't realize until now just how much I needed this feeling. He is home, my home.   
  


I sighed lightly, nothing but the happiness of the moment escaped my lips and he opened one of his lids, looking at me curiously with that one blue orb. I decided to break the silence and the sound of my voice was as I remembered it: soft and very playful.   
  


"So what happened to Mr. Neat freak?"   
  


He sat up slightly and looked around the room, a weary look on his face.   
  


"I left him back home, besides you try being the president of a company, there's no time to clean your room." I smirked at his sarcasm as he opened a bag of chips.   
  


"Whatever you say...Trunksy."   
  


I laughed as he choked, trying in vain to swallow whatever was in him mouth. He shot me a quick glare and gulped back a mouthful of pop.   
  


"She makes up nicknames for everyone. She calls Tousan Veggie-kun."   
  


"Sure Trunksy, whatever you say."   
  


I smirked at him again and grabbed a handful of cookies, chewing them happily between giggles. Trunks smiled and put an arm around my shoulder, squeezing me in a friendly half hug.   
  


"It's good to have you back Chibi."   
  


I laughed and reached for a rather large chicken, preparing to shove it into my mouth.   
  


"Good, cause you're stuck with me for a while."   
  


"I wouldn't have it any other way."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Warmth, like the sun after a shower it covered me and I sank into it. The beautiful light of something familiar tightened around me, safe and strong: A daze of contempt sedating me beyond this natural sleep. A soft wind caressed my hair, parting each strand like a master magician with one of his puppets. Was I outside? Wait! Not wind, the deep inhale and exhale of a body pressed tightly to my cheek. Soft, moist skin under my limp hands, shifting and curling with every twitch of my nerves.   
  


Purple silk kissing my shoulder, and I wanted more, to taste that beauty. Silk? No hair, but his hair is like silk...Trunks. 

"Trunks...love..." I almost didn't hear the groaning, desperation in my voice as I shifted, locked in place by arms around my shoulders. The smell of cinnamon and smoke was potent and creamy, washing over my skin like a fine lotion and the air was thick with sleep.   
  


I must be dreaming of him again.   
  


My dream are always so cruel, always forcing my fantasies to life; like Selene and Endymion I'm doomed to love him, but never have him...except in these thick, warm nights where my lucid dreams take hold of my desires and give me a taste of him.   
  


I will always be tormented by this dream I can never have.   
  


"Goten..."   
  


Only a whisper pushed tightly to my ear, but so real and wanting, damn these dreams!   
  


My eyes fluttered open in a cloud of drowsy mist, straining through the fading darkness. His scent attacked my body, stretching and pulling at my skin, lighting a fire that I thought was reduced to embers. It blazed inside my soul and I felt hot and damp with this growing need as I let my fingers slip over something warm and rising. Is this his skin? So soft...so soft, like the down of a swan...It feels so real! Even as my fingers move heavily through thick air, I can feel that softness twitch and bristle, his breath becoming short.   
  


"Goten..."   
  


I froze, hearing my name with such need, real...so real. I tilted my head up and his piercing blue eyes iced my skin, a sleepy gaze coating them. His eyes have never looked so real, I couldn't stop staring into their depths, a twinkle of something familiar grazing his face. Maybe...maybe I could feel that face I've always longed to touch. My fingers stretched forward, lightly brushing his soft face, tracing his chin with my thumb. Why is this dream so real?   
  


A tapping made me stiffen and I would've ignored it except for the small sound of a woman clearing her throat.   
  


His eyes snapped up and his smile grew to one of a more mischievous nature as his arms released their tight hold from around my waist. When did his arms move from my shoulders?   
  


"Morning Jen."   
  


I turned my head in the direction of his gaze and stiffened as Jen stood in the doorway, leaning against the door frame. This wasn't a dream! This was real, his arms still around me, I'm really tangled around him...I really called him lo...Shit!   
  


A deep blush curled up from my neck and I could feel my face getting hotter with every second I stayed laying there.   
  


"Morning you two, nice to see you're still as close as ever."   
  


I could hear the humor trickle out of her throat and I buried my head in Trunks's chest before realizing what I was doing and jerked back.   
  


"Did you want something?" I could hear the irritation in his voice and I tried to shift out of his arms but he wouldn't let go!   
  


Oh great! This is just great!   
  


"No, I just wanted to let you know I made you two some breakfast if you're hungry."   
  


"We'll be out soon."   
  


Again I tried prying myself out of this embarrassing position, but his grip only tightened and I wanted to scream in frustration and something else that will remain nameless.   
  


"Ok, see you soon."   
  


I heard the door click behind me and I sighed in slight relief. The steady rise and fall of his chest beneath my cheek was entirely too relaxing, clouding my mind from all reason and rational thought. God, how I want this, to wake in his arms for the rest of my life.   
  


I should get up, this teasing relentless warmth is only going to drive me insane and continue to remind me of what I can't have.   
  


"Are you still tired Chibi?" His voice is soft and muffled and I can feel the blush creep up my face again. This means so much to me, I wish it meant as much to Trunks. 

What does he think of me now?   
  


"N...No, I'm awake, I'd like to get up now actually."   
  


"Are you sure?" His voice was steady and serious, his breathing low and deep...he's so warm, I don't want to move, does he want me to stay? 

I looked up at him, doubt and hope shining in my eyes and I saw the devilish smile on his face. I coked my head to the side and nearly leapt off the bed as his fingers dug playfully into my sides.   
  


I giggled and grabbed the nearest pillow and belted him over the head. He grinned at me and grabbed the pillow he'd slept on and tried to retaliate, but I blocked his attack and use the advantage to grab the flesh around his ribs.   
  


He squealed in surprise and laughed evilly, like he was planning something devilish. I let my eyes follow down to where he was looking and gasped as I saw a single feather laying beside him. I shuffled back from him, mock-fear on my face as he grabbed my foot roughly.   
  


"You're gonna pay for hitting me with that pillow!"   
  


I shrieked as he placed the soft feather to my toes and moved in agonizingly slow movements over the sensitive flesh. I thrashed as he tickled my feet, torturing me in the worst way he could think of...he knows how ticklish my feet are!   
  


"T...hahahah.....Truchan...hahahahahahahaha...sss...stop!" He smirked and raised a slender lavender eyebrow.   
  


"You want me to stop?"   
  


I tried to compose myself but my nerves were leaping as he moved the damn feather over the length of my foot.   
  


"Y..YES!!! STOP!"   
  


He laughed and let my foot go, leaping off the bed as I lay there, giggling and panting and pulling my feet underneath me.   
  


"I'm going to take a shower, you can use it after me." His smile was relaxed, happy and so incredibly cute. My own never faded as I watched him leave and when the door clicked shut I rolled on my stomach, grinning like a chessure cat.   
  


My skin was still tingling and my vision still cloudy as I stared at the closed bathroom door. I felt absolutely giddy, after all it's not everyday you wake up in the arms of a God.   
  


I could hear the water running and my smile widened at the thought of him. I wonder if he'd be shocked if I joined him. I giggled out loud at the expression on his face...he'd be absolutely shocked! His eyes wide with surprise, body speckled with slippery soap, full, luscious lips parted, jaw dropped. Oh and I'd kiss those shocked, plumped lips until they swelled with desire.   
  


Hehehe and he'd let me do it!   
  


I rolled onto my side and hugged my ribs, trying to keep him there for a few more minutes. I never imagined he would feel so good against me. We fit together perfectly, just like I knew we would. 

I've never felt so warm.   
  
  
  
  
  


I woke up a few hours later in a strange room and it took me a while to remember where I was, Trunks was nowhere to be seen and my curiosity got the best of me. I got up and walked towards the kitchen, hearing soft music seeping down the hall. Trunks was still no where to be seen but Jen was standing in front of the sink, humming softly to herself as she did the dishes. She had a kind heart, her warmth and empathy radiated from her and it was hard not to feel comfortable in her presence. I smiled at the beautifully soft sound of her voice and stepped into the kitchen, clearing my throat. She turned around, smiling brightly as she reached for the small radio to turn down the music.   
  


"Good afternoon Goten, or I suppose it's still morning for you."   
  


She pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and patted the seat gently. I smiled and sat down and she turned on the microwave, heating up my breakfast I assume.   
  


"I trust you slept well." She winked at me and I blushed slightly, finding something interesting on the linoleum floor.   
  


"Yeah well..." She laughed good heartedly as she rinsed the last dish in the sink. She grabbed a cloth from the counter, wiping the suds from her hand as she sat in the chair in front of me.   
  


"I know, you guys used to sleep like that when you were kids, Trunks already explained it to me."   
  


Leave it to Trunks to save me from embarrassment from anyone else besides himself.   
  


I shifted a bit, placing my arms on the table and resting my head on them, closing my eyes as I remembered all the times Trunks and I would wake up in a tangle of limbs and blankets.   
  


"Well, we've known each other since we were babies."   
  


"So, did you always try to kiss him as a child?"   
  


My eyes shot open and my face went pale, then beat red with embarrassment. I swallowed hard and grinned shyly as I stared, once again, at that interesting spot on the floor.   
  


"I wasn't..I mean..."   
  


She placed a hand gently on my shoulder, and I looked up at her in utter confusion. She smiled so sweetly, her round baby face looked so innocent yet, you could tell that she wasn't as naive as some might think and you just knew she'd prove it too...if you threatened it out of her. She dug her hands into my hair and tousled the strands between her fingers in a friendly way before patting me on the head.   
  


"I'm just teasing you, sorry I do that a lot."   
  


I grinned at her, noting how motherly she seemed as the microwave beeped and she skipped towards it, pulling out the plate and placing it in front of me. 

I looked down at the food and my stomach growled loudly. I was a little nervous to eat in front of someone new, I was known for being a messy eater.   
  


"Don't worry, Trunks warned me about your eating habits, I'm not one to judge."   
  


The man thinks of everything!   
  


"Where is Trunks anyway?" I asked, stuffing my face.   
  


"He went to go get Ashleigh, she called and deman....I mean asked Trunks to go get her. You're meeting her today remember."   
  


I nearly choked on my food. I completely forgot about her....well there goes any possibility of having a good day. My eating slowed considerably, a frown grazing my face as I stared at the clock, praying to Dende that Trunks just left.   
  


"How long ago did he leave?"   
  


Her shoulders seemed to tense as she glanced at the clock on the pale blue wall.   
  


"About an hour ago, they should be here any minute." Her voice sounded irritated and I raised a curious eyebrow.   
  


"I take it you're not too thrilled about it."   
  


She gave me a lopsided grin and placed a glass of orange juice next to my plate.   
  


" don't want to give you a bad impression of her."   
  


"Too late." I mumbled, shoving the last forkfull into my mouth.   
  


"Well you'll see for yourself soon enough."   
  


As if on cue, the front door pushed open and the object on my affections stepped inside; shoulders slightly slumped and a slight grimace expression lining his usual noble face.   
  


I stood up, immediately concerned as to what could turn that proud Prince into a defeated slave, and then she walked through the door. 

Her perfect brown hair flowed obediently down her perfectly oval face, grazing her perfectly pale shoulders. Her stunning hazel eyes flashed with irritation as she wriggled her perfectly small nose and parted her perfectly painted lips. Her thin body swayed teasingly over to Trunks, handing him her coat and purse, flashing her salon-style nails and slender fingers. She kicked off her high heel shoes revealing her perfectly petite feet and her cutesy little painted toes.   
  


The sight of her made me sick!   
  


She slithered passed Trunks, who was hanging her perfectly small fur coat and little hand purse, and walked towards me.   
  


Jen, sensing my agitation, stepped beside me and plastered on an obviously fake smile.   
  


"Hey Ashleigh, how's it going?"   
  


Ashleigh turned at the mention of her name and glared hotly at Jen. I gulped back a gasp at how mean she really looked.   
  


"Hmph! I'd be better if Trunks was out of here and living with me, you are remembering to keep your hands off my property right?"   
  


Jen smirked, unfazed by this disgusting display of perceived dominance and winked at me.   
  


"Actually not this time, mainly because somebody beat me to it."   
  


I froze at the demonistic blaze in her eyes and I didn't know whether to run or cross myself.   
  


Her voice was the most ear splitting, annoying noise I've ever heard and I never thought Trunks's name would ever sound so horrible!   
  


"TTTTRRRRRRUUUUUUNNNNNKKKKKKSSSSSS!! What is she talking about?"   
  


God, even her pout was perfect.   
  


Trunks sighed in defeat and feigned concern as he walked up to her and put his arm around her waist, pulling her lovingly to him.   
  


"She didn't mean anything honey, only that we have a guest."   
  


His smile brightened a bit and he looked at me in a friendly manner. He cleared the distance between us in a light brush of air and threw a lazy arm around my shoulders. His jaw was set tightly and I could see the tension building in his eyes as he spoke.   
  


"Ashleigh, darling...this is Goten."   
  


Her muddy eyes narrowed as she scanned me, checking every inch of my body, for what, who knows!   
  


Her lips parted in a sweet smile and her pearly white teeth glistened in the dull light of the kitchen.   
  


"So this is Goten...I've heard so much about you, you're all my muffin talks about."   
  


"Well I've heard a lot about you too, it's so nice to finally meet you."   
  


Her squeal was deafening as she threw her arms around me and hugged me enthusiastically. I was completely shocked but raised my arms and wrapped them warily around her waist. She pulled back and smiled teasingly. I cleared my throat as I saw Jen standing in the hall way behind Ashleigh and making gagging noises. I suppressed a chuckle as Trunks shot her a glare and she simply smiled a very toothy smile.   
  


His gaze fell upon me and I knew by the way he was staring at me that he knew I was lying. He knew he barely told me jack about her, and he knew she was making me uncomfortable.   
  


We stood there in silence, Ashleigh had long since removed herself from me and was playing idly with the hem of Trunks's jacket. The only noise in the room was the incessant ticking of the wall clock, and Ashleigh's soft coos as she smiled up at Trunks. His arm had some how found it's way back around my shoulders and I desperately tried not to focus on how good he smelt, and how warm his body was tucked against mine...like this morning.   
  


Dammit! Someone say something quick!   
  


"Well I'm off to meet the guys, we're going shopping and stuff today." Jen broke through, slicing a small slip in the obvious jello of tension that had enveloped the room.   
  


I'm going to have to thank her for this one.   
  


"Goten, would you like to come?"   
  


A BIG thank you!   
  


I looked up at Trunks who almost looked relieved at Jen's suggestion and I tried not to take it personally.   
  


Dammit!   
  


My heart sank at how he seemed to relax and I abruptly walked towards Jen, and standing beside her, I gave Trunks an irritated smile.   
  


"Yeah, I still want to see some of the city."   
  


Jen smiled again and quickly grabbed her keys and bag before throwing on her jacket.   
  


"Don't worry Trunksy, I'll have him back in one piece."   
  


Ashleigh growled under her breath and, had it not been for my Saiyan heritage, I wouldn't have heard a thing. Trunks tightened his gripped around her and she smiled cheerfully up at him.   
  


Jen already had my coat and shoes in front of me and I took the hint, throwing them on quickly and following Jen out the door.   
  


"See ya later Truchan!"   
  


"Bye Trunksy!"   
  


I could almost feel the glare on my back as I closed the door and I leaned against it in slight relief.   
  


Jen smiled and put a friendly hand on my shoulder.   
  


"Now do you see what I mean?"   
  


I nodded and sighed, pushing myself off the door as Ashleigh's voice began vibrating the wood. Jen reached in her bag and pulled out a small cell phone, turned it on and expertly dialed an unfamiliar number.   
  


"Hey," her voice chimes, "get the guys together, we're going out...Goten's with me...Did you think she wouldn't....he's irritated but that's why we're gonna show him the city....ok see you in 10." With a swift move of her finger she ended her conversation and placed the phone back in her denim, blue bag.   
  


I looked at her questioningly as we stepped into the elevator.   
  


"I thought you were already going to meet your friends...why did you call them?"   
  


She pressed the small button with a black letter 'M' stamped on it and the elevator began its slow plunge.   
  


"I didn't think I was that good an actress." She made a funny looking pose and I raised an eyebrow, utterly confused. Her face fell with a serious thud and her arms dropped to her sides.   
  


"Trunks doesn't like anyone around when he's with Ashleigh."   
  


The blood drained from my face, simply gaining momentum as my whole body went red with rage.   
  


"WHAT! Why?" The anger in my voice must've been more obvious then I thought because she looked like a deer in the headlights.   
  


I took a deep breath and let the muscles in my face relax a bit more.   
  


"Sorry it's just...it's not like Trunks to be so...well submissive."   
  


Jen let out a sigh and I could see the resin of irritation still on her face.   
  


"It was by her request that I not be around, he felt bad about it...he didn't even want to mention it but she pushed and whined and pushed and whined. I remember hearing one of their conversations over the phone. No I wasn't eavesdropping, I was going to call Johanna to go out for coffee. I picked up the phone and she was screeching about him living with me and me being out to get him and all that nonsense. He said that wasn't true and I almost screamed when she said 'Trunks if you don't tell her to leave when I'm around...' Don't think twice about it Goten, it was a threat. He gave in and asked me...I felt so bad for the guy that I didn't make a fuss about it. She's got him so whipped."   
  


"So you're not out to get him."   
  


Jen laughed loudly, her voice dulling the irritating 'dings' of the elevator as it plunged to the ground.   
  


"Oh hell no! Trunks is a good friend of mine, I mean, I'm not going to say he isn't handsome...he's damn good looking actually, but I like him more as a friend then anything."   
  


"Then why is Ashleigh kicking up a big stink about it then?"   
  


"Because she's possessive, and completely unreasonable. She thinks that because I've been living with him for so long that he has more affections towards me then her or something stupid like that. She's the most infuriating woman I've ever met."   
  


I bit my bottom lip as I thought about Ashleigh. She sounds a lot like my mother, and Dende knows how long I can put up with another Chichi running around.   
  


"She's got an ego to boot too."   
  


Jen looked at me, startled, then patted me on the back and laughed good heartedly before the elevator door swung open and we headed into the city.   
  
  
  
  
  


By the time Jen and I got home my feet were so sore I thought I'd need a crow bar to get my shoes off. The sun had long set and I was still feeling the effects of my jet leg; In other words, I was wired as hyena on coffee, even after my city expedition.   
  


Turns out, when Jen said 'shopping and stuff.' she meant going to the mall and having coffee (or pop in their case) with the guys for 3 hours before going to the toy store and playing with the action figures. She wasn't like the girls that flock around me back home. She's not superficial, she'd rather walk then anything, she has a lot of really deep insights to things (like the reason Trunks is getting married is to please Bulma)...although sometimes she comes off as being really immature and stupid, and the most important thing of all, she doesn't hit on me! One of the reasons I don't like hanging around woman in the first place is because they hit on me like a baseball game!   
  


The five of them together are a sight that's for sure. You could hear them a mile away! Though it's usually Jen and Venessa who dominate the conversation and they talk a lot. And I'm not talking about your regular 'had a lot to say during a conversation.' I'm talking about 'there is no uncomfortable silences because they don't stop!' The things they talk about range from television to deep political issues (Venessa's forte)...I honestly never thought the world was in such crisis!   
  


They are the funniest bunch of people I've ever known! Johanna is so good with the snappy comebacks I thought I'd bust a gut! Venessa always sounds so serious it's hard to tell when she's being sarcastic and Dende knows she's dripping with it! Kelly is so creative it's amazing! She runs through the most ridiculous scenarios...like what would happen to us in a different time line, or what character each person would be from the Simpsons. From what I could tell, each character fit perfectly.   
  


Sarah and Jen have some alternate personalities (all in good fun) called Super Pierre and Super Joe...who, from what I could tell, are two pimps looking unsuccessfully for recruits. They speak in really bad French and Spanish accents which irritates Venessa to the point where that vein in her neck might explode. Jen says she does it just to get a rise out of her, I'd believe it.   
  


If I could describe them in one word it would simply be fun. They can have a good time no matter where they are and I had a good time with them.   
  
  
  
  
  


There were no lights on when we walked into the apartment but I could feel Trunks's energy pulsing softly with his heart beat. I kicked off my shoes and whispered a quiet 'goodnight' to Jen as she brushed passed me, closing her door with a pleasant click. I hung up my coat with a heavy sigh and walked, shoulders slumped, towards my room. Everything was so different here, and I liked it for the most part. I liked the energy that pounded on my metabolism, making me want to run, play and fly through the air like a kite. I liked the people, who didn't seem as bothered by minor differences in others as did the people in any smaller community. I liked how there were trees on every street, adding a little natural brilliance to the already towering, man-made structures that caught your eyes with their height, and I liked how utterly at home I felt with every street I walked down. I wish Trunks had been there to share it with me.   
  


I stopped in front of his door and I could feel the sting of cold tears freezing my alerted eyes and I immediately blinked them away. I raised a limp hand and placed my palm flat against its cool surface.   
  


Why Trunks? Why do you have to work to make others happy? When is it your turn? When is it mine?   
  


I closed my eyes and pushed away from the door, turned and walked into my room, closing the door behind me. 


	6. Letters: Chapter four (b)

The month trickled by slowly despite all the activity in the house, anxious people arriving with their offerings of good cheer

The month trickled by slowly despite all the activity in the house; anxious people arriving with their offerings of good cheer and keepsakes as the big day drew agonizingly close. Preparations were being made round the clock. Trunks' phone never seemed to stop ringing as 'Capsule Corporation's Hunkiest Bachelor' was about to become 'Capsule Corps. Sexiest New Couple.' (Quickly taking the spot light from Bulma's 20-year record). Everyone had a good word to say about the immaculate pair, and they were nothing less then perfect; silken beauty next to lavender God, only confirming that you have to be no less than a Goddess to stand next to someone like Trunks. 

With each new person to arrive a new task came about; Jen had to take on the whole reception: decorating tables, arranging the center pieces, shopping around for the best catering service and frantically picking out appetizers. Ashleigh, as expected, kicked up a fuss about it, saying things like 'she has no taste,' and 'she's just trying to look good in front of my man.' But after interviewing hundreds of other people, mostly woman, Ashleigh decided Jen was less of a threat then the other beauties dying to get a glimpse of her husband-to-be. 

All her friends were put to work as well. Kelly was in charge of choosing the place to hold the initial ceremony, which had to be a church because Ashleigh 'couldn't possibly be married anywhere else simply because it would make them look bad if they did anything out of tradition.' But Kelly picked a good place, a beautiful stone church right across from the hospital down on main street, (she said it would be convenient for when she murdered Ashleigh at the altar), that was sure to hold a large sum of people, which would definitely be required. 

Sarah was put in charge of decorating the hall and front yard of the church for the ceremony. The front entrance was already adorned with beautiful trees and old statues; a long, burgundy strip of dusty bricks lead from the front gates into the holy building. She didn't have much to work with, but she went with a simple design for the front yard; red and white flower petals scattered along the ancient walk way. Long vines of Ivy would climb the arch above the fine oak doors while white ribbon rained down from the thin green vines. 

For the main hall, she chose pure white lilies, tied together into a long, thick rope, wrapped tightly around the blossoms of rare blue roses. Scattered along the edges of each pew, they would twist and twine around the floor, slithering to the front of the altar. Gliding smoothly along two twin bars, the elegant strip rose high, coming together in the center of the alter, forming a wave of blue and white; two crescents kissing at the dip in the middle; a cool, oceanic heart to place the 'happy couple'. 

She couldn't do much else; the sanctuary stood tall, crystal and gold chandeliers held fine pristine droplets over the hall, cascading magnificent rainbows in every direction. Stain glass prophets and chiseled holy faces caught each tiny, coloured pearl perfectly, blessing all who entered.

Johanna was put in charge of the bridesmaid dresses, a grueling task for someone with such obvious skills, but Ashleigh thought she would have the most fashion experience because she was the only one small enough to 'fit into beautiful people's clothing.' She had to pick only three different styles, all sea foam green, which she did with great hesitation. 

Venessa kept the books; as in, how much money we were allowed to spend and how much we actually did. She did her job well, keeping everything within budget and working out alternatives incase we didn't have enough left after all the necessities were paid for. She kept things in order despite the constant harping from Ashleigh to 'lighten up' because her daddy was paying for most of it and Trunks had more money then most small countries.

I was put in charge of the gift checklist, which kept me busy enough. Trunks and Ashleigh both had quite an extensive social group, all of which held most of the money in the world, and didn't hesitate to show off how much they appreciated the union. 

Trunks and I spent a lot of time talking over the first month, which only worked to brighten the bulb of compassion and love I held for him, despite Ashleigh's harping. He spent any free time he had chatting with me; we would reminisce about our childhood, our families, how different everything was here, and how similar some things were. And although I tried to avoid the subject, at times we would talk about Ashleigh. He would tell me how beautiful she was, and how she always kept him on his toes, 'kinda like Tousan does with Kaasan.' 

I would smile, trying desperately not to let on how much my heart was breaking, thinking of only his happiness to keep the sharp stabs of rejection from bleeding through my eyes. I started to see, with great disappointment, his true feelings for her. 

He asked me once how I felt about her. I told him, honestly that I didn't like her, that I thought she was conceded and mean, over possessive and not worthy of his attentions. He smiled softly at me, something akin to understanding in his eyes, but it vanished as he laughed good-naturedly, simply saying 'you've been spending too much time with Jen.'

He was right.

I resolved a while ago that I was not going to spend all my time here cooped up, even if I had to do things alone. Because Trunks still had his busy world to run I was left alone to my own devises, and I wasn't the type to sit around while there was a new city to explore…I just didn't like exploring alone. But Jen was always there, always willing to give me a few minutes of her time to do something, even if she was busy. We'd go out for coffee or walk around the city just to talk about what was on my mind. She was making things a little easier on me, and I appreciated it more then anything. 

It was a few weeks ago that, during one of our long walks, I told her about my feelings for Trunks. I can still remember the blank look on her face as she listened to me babble on about my love for him; I told her everything, from the time we were young to the day I got the news about his engagement. 

Her silence was almost deafening as I poured my heart out and I could feel another pang of rejection poke through my defenses; the slated look in her eyes sending needles through my skin…but it was short lived. She hugged me tightly saying 'what a cute couple you'd make' and I had to remind her a million times that Trunks was getting married in a month, which she has now dubbed the 'Minor Inconvenience.' She gives me hope when I'm depressed, always telling me that Trunks and I were meant to be, which I used to cling to, but now I'm not so sure.

It's getting harder as the day grows closer, now only 30 days away, and I find myself wishing I hadn't come as early as I did. He's with her often enough, during this time I'm helping Jen out with the reception work or doing my own minor tasks, which I enjoy; it's when Trunks is out all night that makes me want to scream. I know he's with her, touching her softly, kissing her skin with that beautiful mouth, worshipping every last inch of her smoldering flesh…dammit how I wish it were me!

He tries his best to make up for it by taking me out all day when he gets time off, convinced he needs to redeem himself for our lost hours together. He feels guilty sometimes, knowing that I came 2 months before the wedding to spend time with him and not his answering machine at work, or Ashleigh's for that matter. But after a long string of apologies and small gifts here and there I always agree to let him take me out. 

Sometimes we spar, which helps get out a lot of rage I've learned to bottle up. It becomes a great deal harder to keep all my emotions inside when the cause is nearly beating it out of me. It got at its worst point about two weeks ago, Trunks had stayed over night with Ashleigh and didn't come back for two days, not a word to anyone until the day he came back, which, to say the least, pissed me off. Jen tried her best to ease my worry and confusion. She told me he did this often and that he'd be back eventually, but I think the most uplifting thing she said to me was 'he's not spending his time with her, he probably had to fix some crisis somewhere else.' 

He felt horrible when he finally came home; the guilt was evident on his rough, handsome face as he mumbled something about having to go on an important business trip and didn't have time to call or whatever. I told him he didn't owe me an explanation; after all, he's an adult and can do what he wants. He took me out as always, leading me towards the ocean, over the clear blue water and towards a small island where we did most of our sparring. 

He landed as smoothly as a cat, slowly removing his work blazer and tossing it lazily off to the side. I followed suit, discarding my windbreaker and crouching down in a defensive stance, waiting for him to begin. He launched a series of punches and kicks towards my midsection and I blocked them with ease, small waves of anger crashing the shores of my carefully placed serenity. I watched him closely, his guilty eyes now replaced with good-humor, twisting and bleeding with his natural battle lust. His punches became sloppy, toying and playing with my already jangled nerves…the anger searing into something more Saiyan like in nature. 

His eyes were burning, teasing and taunting me to let go, to just stop bottling it up and let the world know what I was feeling. He smirked and threw me against a tree trunk, my wrists pinched together between his rough hands, his other arm resting comfortably on the top of my chest. 

"Chibi, you're not fighting back."

I hissed under my breath and glared into those piercing, crystal-blue eyes. Aqua shards dug into me: prying and pinching at my restraints, begging me to lash out at that beautiful, pale face.

"Well you're not fighting me seriously, so what's the point?"

He laughed and let go of me, putting his hands on his hips, standing like a confident statue with his head cocked regally to the side.

"Sorry, I'm not used to fighting with someone I can use my full strength on…hell I have to bite my lips just to keep from hurting Ashleigh when…"

With a loud growl my hair flashed gold and my eyes burned green as I launched towards him, fists clenching tightly to his shoulders as I threw him into the air. I sneered in agony as I leapt after him: my clenched fists digging deep holes into his stomach, knees connecting with a loud crunch to his chin, small droplets of blood oozing slowly out of his mouth. He smirked playfully as I beat him, a smug look of victory never leaving his face and I screamed with frustration before throwing him to the dirt below. 

I had tried to hide how much it bothered me, how much his absence hurt every inch of me, but I can't seem to keep my emotions under control when he's around. He forces it out of me, through his expressions, his words, his fists…and I can't hide from him…I never could. 

After I'd calmed down some he sat up, dirty, bruised and covered in a sweet mixture of sweat and blood. He smiled affectionately and patted my back in a reassuring manner, wincing slightly saying "Feel better?" 

I blinked and could do nothing but nod my head, his arm flinging itself over my shoulder, motioning towards a small lake in the center of the island. 

He knows I don't like him with her, and I'm sure he knows how much it bothers me or else he wouldn't entice me into a fight whenever he's comes home. I wish I could be honest with him…I hate lying to him like this.

************************************************************************

I was surrounded by beautifully wrapped boxes: some smelling of sweet incense, some shimmering with silver and gold, some big, some small…boxes of ever variety scattered across the living room. I was sitting in the center of the mass of coloured paper that I was expertly checking off when my mind started to drift towards that letter I never sent…or rather, the letter he never got. 

At first, I was worried that the letter would simply get sent back to me, but after calling Gohan for the first two weeks and annoying him to no end, came to the conclusion that it simply wasn't coming back. After being in college for a few years I've learned that things don't just disappear into thin air, so the only explanation is that it's still floating around out there, or was some how destroyed. 

But, I wonder sometimes, if things would've been different...if he'd gotten the letter would he have cared? Well of course he would care, but would he say anything about it? He wouldn't want to embarrass me, well at least not where this is concerned, but he wouldn't just not say anything. Maybe, he would've realized his own feelings for me...maybe we would be together now, and these would be our wedding presents and not…

I have to stop doing this to myself!

I nearly leaped out of my skin as a gentle knock sounded on the front door. The strong pulse of familiar ki boomed with blatant defiance as I tried, half-heartedly, to weed my way through the hundreds of boxes to answer it. I was more then grateful that it wasn't Ashleigh at the door; I'm not in the mood to feign happiness. I grunted in irritation as the knocking started again.

That man has no patience what-so-ever!

"I'll get it Goten, you finish with those." Jen's gentle voice called over the mountain of gifts.

I nodded, even though she couldn't see me and picked up my clipboard, once again starting the grueling task of checking off names.

"Jen!!! How are you? I haven't seen you in years!"

I cringed as memories of my childhood rushed back to me, remembering that voice bellowing through the house after Trunks and I had played one of our pranks. And, of course, that familiar ki standing next to her that would chase us through the Capsule Corp lawns whenever he found one of our "surprises" waiting for him in the gravity room. 

I pushed the boxes aside and there stood a beaming Bulma and an ever-unimpressed Vegeta. I smiled fondly at my second parents while I walked through the living room.

"Bulma, I'm fine thank you! It's so good to see you!"

Jen threw her arms around her long time friend, a stain of pure happiness painted her baby face as she caught a glance at the Saiyan prince, obviously for the first time. She smiled up at Bulma and motioned towards Vegeta, scanning him carefully with her soft blue eyes.

"So," She started, nudging Bulma in the side, "this is Vegeta…wow, I'm impressed...way to pick em Bulma."

I almost choked at the pure sarcasm in her voice as Vegeta's head whipped towards Jen, glaring at her with a look that could fry sugar. She smirked and nudged Bulma again.

"Woah, he has no sense of humor."

"He's just being himself."

"I'll bet."

I chuckled as I came up quietly, standing beside Jen while her and the blue haired beauty bantered back and forth over bad airplane food and long flights with Vegeta. I smiled warmly to myself, remembering fondly those moments in my childhood where I stood next to my mother while her and Bulma had done much of the same thing, Vegeta always off to the side, scowling at the wall that most likely resembled my father. 

I grinned at the thought, drawing slight attention to myself as Bulma's bright eyes grinned at me; quick, skinny arms wrapped themselves tightly around my waist, squeezing the life out of me in one of her motherly hugs.

"Goten, it's so good to see you!"

"It's good to see you too Bulma-san."

She pulled away, holding me at arms length, looking me over as if I've been gone for 10 years. A bright smile lit her red lips as she dusted off the shoulders of my t-shit.

"I hope Jen's has been like a home away from home."

I smiled softly and turned to Jen, her own blue eyes shimmering their approval and I gave her an all-knowing wink.

"Yeah Bulma-san, she's been great."

I smirked lightly over at Vegeta who merely nodded, acknowledging my presence as we walked into the living room and I moved to clear all remains of my hard days work so everyone could sit down.

"Bulma, would you like anything?"

"No thanks Jen, I just stopped by to see how Trunks is doing and how all the wedding plans are going."

Jen's face fell and her eyes swept the hallway, landing on the door at the far end. She stood up slowly, stepping carefully over the mess on wobbly legs, nearly falling over herself. "He's in his room, I'll get him."

I leapt up, floating quickly across the floor, expertly avoiding all the expensive boxes and other wedding accessories as I made my way to Trunks' bedroom door. 

"I'll get him, you chat with Bulma."

"No Goten.... wait!"

The world seemed to stop as I opened the door to his room. I felt like I was covered in a thick blanket of shock and the smile on my face faded as my eyes fell on Trunks sleeping in his bed, Ashleigh wrapped tightly around him. They were both quite naked, their bodies still gleaming with the remnants of sweat from their apparent 

love-making. I felt wet and cold as the sight in front of me bled me like a tourniquet and my knees threaten to give out on me. My heart pierced through the shock at how they curled comfortably in each others loving embrace and my shoulders tensed with the weight of their perfection. 

I moved to turn away, my feet heavy as I stepped back, fingers gripping tightly to the doorknob. I was moving to close the door when his blue eyes fluttered open, looking at me hazily as I swallowed back the sandy grief in my throat and flashed him the best fake smile I could muster.

I knew I'd have to fake something today.

"Trunks, your parents are here."

Trunks' eyes widened and he nudged Ashleigh to wake, a quiet yawn escaping his swollen lips.

"Thanks Goten."

I could barely hear him with the cloudy thumping of my heart drowning out all other noise. My eyes began to fog over as I continued to feign cheeriness and I stepped back out of the doorway, as Ashleigh grinned over at me smugly.

"Hey just be glad it was me that got you and not Vegeta-san."

His faint smile the last sight that held my dusty eyes as I closed the door to his room, allowing them some privacy. I stood still for a moment, trying to clear my head of the image that now burned my chest as I stared at his door, my hand resting gently against the cool frame when realization cracked my delusions with the truth. 

It's over. I've lost.

I turned back to the small group in the living room. Jen looked at me apologetically, while Bulma chewed her ear off about world issues, and I looked at her, beaten and broken. 

The room seemed to close in on me as I stared at the remorse on her face, probably mirroring my own as my chest tightened again and a small whimper threatened my silence. I took in a shaky breath, the thick, stuffy atmosphere pinching my throat. It felt like my air supply had been cut off.

I needed to get out of there quick!

"I'm going out for a bit, it was good to see you again Bulma-san, Ouji-sama, I'll talk to ya later."

Vegeta glared at me through heavy lids and I slammed up my protective wall, praying that he wouldn't say anything to embarrass me further. He just stood there, thankfully, studying me sharply, and I ignored it as I threw on my shoes.

I looked up at Bulma, her face twisted in confusion as she looked towards Trunks' room, then back to me.

Please don't ask! Dear Kami don't ask any questions…I don't think I can talk.

"Umm ok…Goten, have fun." Her voice sugarcoated the questions that I knew were filling her head and I could only nod weakly. 

"Yeah I will."

I could almost hear the gasp in her voice as Trunks greeted his parents, Ashleigh's singsong shrieks behind me as the door closed at my back.

I flew for hours, pouring all my energy into getting as far away from him as possible. The beautiful scenery was lost to my over powering rage and humiliation and I wanted to scream until my throat bled and the world shattered around me. I landed in a valley far away from anyone and my body shook with the angry tremors that rattled my nerves and pierced my skin. 

Damn him! Why did I have to love him? Why couldn't I just accept this and moved on?! Why does this hurt so much?! 

Agonizing screams ripped past my lungs and painful tears streaked my flushed cheeks, as my anger grew. Sparks of hatred swirled around me, wind cracked and popped over my still shaking frame as the dam holding my power broke. An unnatural shriek of pure sorrow tore out of my throat as a bright light burst painfully through every pour of my skin and my now blond hair grew inches longer.

Damn him! Why couldn't it have been me?!

With a desperate sob I fell to the ground, body still shaking but limp with defeat, my skin wet with sweat and tears. My breathing was sickeningly slow as my back rose with each life-giving breath and I wanted so badly to never get up again.

The wind had chilled considerably, lapping over my skin forcing me to coherence as I shivered, and opened my heavy eyes. Green, luscious grass tickled my cheek and the smell of the night filled my nostrils with a kind of black peace. I could hear owls singing their beautifully soft melody to the Goddess of the Night as the bright moon shone proudly in the sky. My eyes fell upon the last bit of light, clinging to the horizon as the navy-black water threatened to drown it into nonexistence. I felt sick, tired and so alone. 

I shifted and my muscles crunched and creaked in stiff agony as I sat up. My mind was a haze of power and sorrow as crystalline tears bubbled up and threatened to spill, once again from my red, bleeding eyes. I vaguely thought that I should just run away: leave him with 'the love of his life' and never have to face them again. 

I brought up a dirty sleeve and wiped away the burning tears before they had a chance to cascade their acidic tracks down my face and stood up slowly on wobbly knees. As much as I didn't want to, I had to go back and face them. 

I powered up and shot into the air, shivering as the wind split and pushed pass my speeding form.

I couldn't do this anymore; spending my life pining after something that isn't mine, it was killing me inside. I love Trunks, Kami knows I do, and I wish more then anything on this planet that he loved me back. But he doesn't, he loves Ashleigh, and I'm going to have to accept that, and move on. Trunks will always be my best friend, we've been so since before I could remember, and I will stand beside him on his wedding day and look on proudly...because that's what best friends do. I'll love him forever, that will never change, but I have to come to terms with the fact that I will never have him. 

Who knows, maybe I'll find someone new someday, although the thought makes me sick, but what else can I do? My soul is dying with this sorrow. I thought I could handle it, I thought I could be content with admiring him from afar, I thought as long as I loved him then I would be strong enough to handle this. But, every time I see him with her, standing beaten and submissive at her materialistic side my heart clenches and I want to scream that he's making a mistake and that I can treat him better then anyone on Earth. 

I suddenly had a flash of what Bra said to me before I left, 'Don't let him make a mistake he can't fix.' She knows he doesn't belong with her, I don't know why, but I do know that there is no way I can stop him from making his mother happy...and maybe himself in the long run.

I'm not strong enough to tell him, I've never been as strong as he is, and I never will be...I'm too emotional, sometimes I think Vegeta is right: emotions do make you weak.

The apartment building came into view and I let out a sigh before landing on the balcony, and slid open the door. Jen stood up from her seat at the table and she looked at me in sympathy. I smiled faintly and walked towards the couch, flopping on its softness like the beaten soul I was. Jen's soft feet padded across the carpet and she sat next to me. 

"I'm sorry you had to see that, are you alright?"

I choked back a sob and nodded softly before laying my head against her shoulder. Her warm arms wrapped themselves tightly around my neck as I sighed heavily.

"Where is he?"

"He's in his room with his parents...Ashleigh left after Vegeta insulted her hair."

I chuckled softly and turned my head towards his door.

"Yeah Vegeta would do that. If Ashleigh can't take a joke then she won't make it in that family."

"You're right, but won't it be fun to watch her squirm?"

I laughed again and Jen's grip tightened. I felt warm and incredibly comfortable with her; she was like the sister I've always wanted.

"It sure will."

I sat up as I heard noises coming from the hall and smiled faintly at Trunks, Bulma and Vegeta who were discussing wedding plans...well Bulma and Trunks were; Vegeta was obviously ignoring them.

Trunks looked at me with a hint of urgency grazing his tense jaw and he turned back to his mother at her insistence.

"Trunks, we have so much to do! I want to know exactly what your plans are."

Trunks smiled and nodded.

"Jen has most of the layout, so you'll have to talk to her."

"I'm hungry woman! We will stop this nonsense and get something to eat now!" 

Vegeta stepped in front of Bulma in a domineering way. Bulma just stood there, arms crossed and glaring evilly at her husband.

"If you want to leave, Leave! I'm working on one of the most important moments of my son's life. You know where the hotel is, so go!"

Vegeta's jaw clenched tightly as he walked towards the balcony, taking off towards their hotel without another word.

Bulma smiled triumphantly and grabbed Jen's hand and dragged her towards the table again to discuss the layout of the reception. Trunks stood beside me, biting his thumb nervously, trying desperately to find something to say to break the ice. I sighed heavily and turned towards him.

"Sorry I walked in on you today...I should've knocked," I laughed as nonchalantly as I could, "Haha at least it wasn't like that time we walked in on your parents." 

He looked at me strangely and cocked his head to the side in concentration.

"Goten...I" He paused nervously, letting out an exasperated breath before slumping his shoulder in an attempt to relax.

"Can we go for a walk?"

"Yeah sure." I said, nodding my head, knowing he wanted to make amends for his own embarrassment as well as my own. 

I walked passed him towards the front door when Trunks' hand gripped my shoulder, tightly. 

"I need to talk to Jen for a second, can you grab my watch from my desk drawer?"

I spun around on my heels, a small smile plastered on my face as I looked at him.

"No problem."

"Thanks Goten, it's in the drawer with the lock on it. Don't worry it's open."

I scurried through the hall and nervously entered his messy room, flashes of earlier flipping through my head like a picture book. I stepped carefully over the small piled of clothing and stopped in front of his desk, reaching for the drawer. I slid it open and searched wantonly for the small piece of technology. 

My eyes fell upon a piece of paper with harsh writing over its surface, my writing. Curious, I picked it up and unfolded it, smiling at the thought of Trunks keeping my letters under lock and key, as I read the first few scribbles.

My smile faded and my jaw clenched at the familiar melancholy content that had seeped my pen that painful night:

'Dearest Trunks,

I realize something as I read your letter, I should've told you everything when I had the chance. I'm going to tell you now because I can't let you go on with this wedding until you know how I feel. First off, I don't want you getting married. Unless, that is, it's to me. I love you Trunks, I have for a long time now and I was afraid to tell you..."

My fingers went numb in complete shock as my throat dried, for the second time that day, like the desert sand after a storm. My eyes lost focus and the world fell into a haze of confusion and complete gray. The muffled sound of his voice sliced through the paralysis and opened the wound I wanted so desperately to seal only moments before.

"So are we going to talk about this or not."

He stood in the doorway, arms folded over his chest, his face hard and serious. I swallowed, unable to speak from the painful clench fear had on my throat. I felt like I was drowning, held under by the grip of that terror.

His eyes never left mine, burrowing into my heart for an answer I couldn't voice and I wanted away from his penetrating stare.

"Goten, answer me."

I let my head fall, trying desperately to regain some composure so I could answer his question. I must've stood there, head hung, for 5 minutes before I found my voice enough to squeak out a barely audible "Why?"

"Because I saw the look on your face when you walked in on us this morning...and the look on your face every time I'm with her, or come home in the morning after being with her..."

"Ok I get it." I snapped, glaring at him with tear filled eyes. I felt sick, my stomach began to spin and my vision blurred as the truth finally surfaced.

"You knew...this whole time and you still..."

I was cut off by a gently knocking and I looked up to see Jen standing in the doorway just behind Trunks, a look of worry on her usually cheerful baby face. She was about to ask what was wrong when I abruptly shook my head, and she sighed slightly.

"Trunks, Ashleigh is here and demands your presence."

Trunks nodded and Jen gave me one last, concerned look before heading back to Bulma.

With Trunks' head turned, I gave way to my instincts and bolted for the window, needing desperately to get out of this vise of tension before I cracked.

Trunks' hand gripped my wrist tightly and I was jerked back towards him, nearly falling on my butt. Trunks turned me around, still holding my wrist tightly, and stared into my face with the most irritated, angry expression I've ever seen on his delicate visage, whether it was directed at me I'll never know but I shrank back suddenly feeling like a bug just under a shoe.

"You're not bolting Goten, we're going to talk about this...just as soon as I'm done with Ashleigh."

"I'll wait here then." His eyes narrowed dangerously and I swallowed, feeling a little shaky at the look in his eye.

"No you don't, this won't take long and you're coming with me. I know you too well, I know you want to run away from this problem, but not this time...This time there's more at stake."

More at stake? What the hell did he mean by that?

As he pulled me into the living room my mind reeled at his words and I suddenly became really scared. I didn't think he would take it this badly, to the point where he would end our friendship...What have I done?

Jen was still sitting at the table with Bulma, going over table designs and other such wedding plans, when we walked in. Jen looked and saw the pure fear in my face and stood up quickly from her chair. Bulma's eyes looked at the tight hold Trunks held around my wrist and her demeanor changed to 'defensive mother' in .9 seconds. She was about to say something when Ashleigh stepped in front of Trunks, silencing everyone with her irritating voice.

"Trunks, I want you to take me to that hotel and demand that your father apologize. I can't believe that you let him talk to me like that, you're going to have to learn to stick up for me because I won't have it..."

"Ashleigh, I have something more important to deal with right now, we'll talk about this later."

My jaw dropped to the floor and Jen looked at me with pure shock on her face. Since I've been here I've watched Trunks, time and time again, submit to Ashleigh's every demand...whether he wanted to or not, never once saying no. She would make her screeching demands and he would comply, no matter how outrageous or ridiculous they were, without a single breath of protest. The leash she kept around his neck was short and taught and everyday it only got shorter and tighter, painfully tight. But the sting in his voice told me that he's had enough of this game.

Who's game though?

"Trunks, honey what's going on?" Bulma asked, urgency now seeping through her voice. She stepped towards us but her concerns were once again silenced as Ashleigh's face flushed with humiliation and anger.

"Something more important then your fiancée?!!"

Trunks' jaw tightened and his grip around my wrist became painful as he glared down at Ashleigh.

"I'll be back, we'll talk later."

He began pulling me towards the door and I clumsily tripped behind him.

"Trunks I swear if you leave..."

It was the same tone Jen had told me about that time she had heard their conversation. I was outraged! She's actually threatening him and in front of his mother at that! Trunks didn't turn around; he just stood there hanging onto the doorknob, his shoulders squared, looking incredibly regal.

Bulma looked on at the scene, her eyes scratching towards Ashleigh, her own anger bubbling to the surface as Jen came up behind her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Trunks turned his head, looking over his shoulder towards the kitchen, eyes serious and jaw clenched. 

"Goodbye Ashleigh. Jen we'll be back later."

The last thing I heard was Ashleigh's growing protests and Bulma saying angrily "Don't you dare go after him!" before the door closed and I was once again dragged through the hall, into the elevator and out into the chilling air.

The sky burned with a smoky gray as we walked down the street in silence, an eerily cold wind picking up and icing my already jumbled nerves. I looked at him: his lavender eyebrows contorted in concentration and my palms began to sweat nervously. I decided to break the deafening silence, asking the first of many questions that was plaguing my still hazy brain.

"What was that all about?"

Trunks' head snapped from his thoughts and his ocean eyes washed nervously over me.

"What?"

"Back there in your apartment, what happened?"

We turned into a small park, people scurrying home to avoid the upcoming storm...wish I could.

Trunks stayed silent as we glided deeper into the park, brow still furrowed and jaw clenched tightly, making him look much older then his twenty-four years. Scarring worry lines dug deep into his hairline. His cheeks sagged more then they used to, once flush with mischievous youth, now pale with heavy responsibility. His hair even expressed his heartache, falling lifeless on his shoulders, once full of volume and spirit. I never noticed how tired he looked...life took him from me so quickly I didn't see it until now, until it was too late.

We stopped by a fountain, small cherubs spitting water from their pipes and tiny wings out stretched to the sky.

Trunks sat on the edge of it, eyes forced to his feet, a deep sigh escaping his lips.

"It's over...between us."

I gaped at him in complete shock. How did I miss that one?

"What! Why? ...When did that happen?"

Trunks' head snapped up to look at me. I was expecting pain in his eyes, sorrow, regret, anything that you would see in the eyes of someone who just lost his fiancée...but all I saw was confusion and....relief?

"You were there, you saw what happened. She threatened me...all but asked me to choose, and I did. As for why... you know why."

His eyes fell on the still crumpled letter in my hands and I stiffened with embarrassment.

"Trunks about the letter..."

"I know you weren't going to send it Chibi."

My eyes must've grown to the size of moons and I nearly lost my balance. 

"How...do you know that?"

Trunks smirked sadly at me before turning and flicking his finger into the water.

"Well the look on your face for one, I don't think I've ever seen you look so panicked in my life...except, maybe, when Tousan knocked me out when I was 8." 

I smiled faintly at the memory but still shook it off; there are more important things to deal with.

"That doesn't mean anything, you shouldn't assume…"

"Because Chibi, I called you after I got the bloody thing! Pan said you were working late at school, trying to finish exams so you could come down early. I said it was fine but then she asked me if I got the letter she sent. At first, I didn't know what she was talking about. She said that you got her to send the letter for you because you were running late, but she saw two letters on the desk: both addressed to me. She said she only remembered you saying 'send the letter' not 'letters' so she picked one...she was worried that she didn't do it right. Anyway, I figured that you wrote that one as soon as you got my letter about Ashleigh, but for whatever reason realized you shouldn't send it or something like that. I told Pan she didn't need to tell you that I'd called, and that I'd call you later." 

I knew my blood pressure had probably increased by 20% and I tried to miserably hold my composure.

"So you're telling me, you knew how I felt the whole time and you still had the gall to sleep with that bitch in the room next to me!"

I was fuming with anger. How could he be so insensitive! He knew the whole time and he still brought her around, held her with me in the room, kissed her...Arg! I'll kill him.

Trunks stood then, his own anger burning through his eyes, boiling his usual cool oceanic orbs into fiery pits of rage. 

"For your information, we aren't a couple so I have every right to do what I want..."

"Even if it means breaking my heart!"

My eyes were brimming with tears and I had to turn my back so he wouldn't see me cry. I could hear him sigh and I wanted to break at the desperation in his unspoken burst of emotion.

"Goten I...I never meant to hurt you. I'd never hurt you."

"Why did you let me come here? Why did you let me believe I could hide it from you? 

You say you didn't want to hurt me but you knew it would kill me to see you with her..." 

I paused, turning my blood shot eyes over my shoulder and gazing at his hung head, "It kills me every time."

"I was being selfish Goten, I wanted to see you...I missed you ok! And I thought that if I kept you and Ashleigh apart as much as possible then you wouldn't be as hurt. I asked Jen to take you out when you first met Ashleigh. I wanted to keep contact between the two of you at a minimum so it wouldn't hurt you. I didn't want her to spend the night, really, but she really pressured me into it..."

I whirled on him, anger, despair, and hopelessness--all the feelings I've felt since the day he left came barreling out of me.

"DAMMIT YOU ARE NOT THE VICTIM!!!!!! You didn't have to let her do anything! You were the one who chose this! Dammit! Haven't you had enough of seeing me grieve or is this making you feel better about yourself! I thought you loved her! You told me over and over again how great she was and how perfect you were together…Jen was right, you were marrying her to make Bulma-san happy Maybe you should stop trying to please other people! Then you could see passed your own nose!"

"Goten, you know nothing about this! You told me not to assume things but look at what you're doing! Don't make assumptions based on a month of seeing me! And like you're one to talk! You're the one that can't see passed his own bloody emotions."

Oh he was mad. I could practically smell the rage bleeding from his skin...It matched my own to a 'T'.

"It isn't an assumption! I know, Trunks, because I know you! Your mother was all but shoving you into marriage! It didn't matter who it was. I was there! You forget that I was always there! I saw it Trunks!"

I was so angry I could barely hold my balance, my knees shook violently and I locked them into place as Trunks now turned his back on me. His shoulders slumped forward and I could see the ragged fall of his back as he tried desperately to hold his composure. 

When he spoke next, the storm over our heads thundered. I had to strain to hear him.

"I...I'm sorry Goten."

Tears sprang from my eyes and fell down my hot cheeks as I stared at him. I could feel the guilt rising in my chest, slowly replacing my anger as I sank to the ground and stared off into nothingness.

"Why did you wait until now to bring this up." The pure sorrow in my voice was excruciating. Even Pandora has never heard such pain as the thick flood of desperation spat bitterly off my tongue. 

He didn't turn around, his back still to me as he sighed heavily again and his shoulder curled in like he was turning into a ball of regret with every word he spoke.

"Because I saw the look in your eyes when you walked in on us this morning and I knew that was only a mirror of the pain you were feeling...The pain you have been feeling since the day I left." He turned then and the look on his face matched my own and I choked back a sob. "God Chibi, I've never seen you look so utterly hopeless and lost...it made my heart ache."

I suddenly felt so stupid, and completely blind. Of course he'd seen my pain! He knows me better then I know myself! I'm so dense!

I nearly jumped as I felt his hand on my shoulder, his body towering over me, tension surrounding him like fire to wood.

"Chibi." he started, his voice eerily calm as he pulled me to stand. We were inches apart as he held onto my shoulders firmly, eyes burrowing deep into mine. "Tell me how you feel."

A crack sliced the air and pounded the earth with the promise of rage. I stepped away from him, from his touch, from his heat and into the cold waiting air, looking at the moist grass.

"I...Don't...Love you." I said, voice shaking like the rolling thunder that rattles the sky. I needed to say that, I really did. I can't possibly move on if I admit my feelings. He doesn't love me and I refuse to embarrass myself further!

I moved to walk away, trying to hold down a little pride when a flash of white lightening blinded my eyes. Little dots of colour flicked and lapped at my vision, blurring my still sightless eyes as the scenery dripped through. I blinked, bringing a still shaking fist up to my lids and rubbing them quickly. My vision cleared and I opened my eyes to see Trunks standing in front of me, looking very pissed off.

"No more lies Goten! Tell me the truth!"

I stood my ground, glaring him down as the rain poured heavily onto my flaring skin.

"How do you know I'm lying? You think you know me so well? Well here's some news for you, you don't! Things change, I've changed, and you've changed!"

"That's crap and you know it! You're contradicting yourself! You say you know me…well I know you too!" The venom in his voice was frightening and the fury in his eyes seemed to grow with every crash of white lightening, "If you don't love me then say it to my face!" 

"I..." His face was tense, beautifully burning with scarring anger as water coursed down his skin, again drawing sensuous lines down those firm cheeks, licking his lips as they traveled down his chin to his neck, killed by the fabric of his shirt. Damn him! He was so beautiful!

I got flash after flash of images from my childhood, laughing, playing, fighting...not a moment spent without him, not a moment spent not loving and cherishing him.

Tears brimmed my eyes and I looked down again, completely ashamed of myself.

"I don't… Dammit! Why are you doing this? Please don't make me say it."

"Goten, please, I want to hear it from your own lips."

I started sobbing uncontrollably, my chest hurt so bad I couldn't breath, and my shoulders shook painfully. My tears mixed with the cold rainwater that tracked down my cheek from the constant stream that leaked from my dry, cracking eyes. My head pounded with my rapidly increasing heartbeat and I thought my brain would explode from the pressure. My gut twisted with each spasming sob, tying into painful knots as I slumped over. My whole being ached from it, the agony in my body ripped through the wet, black night as the storm inside and out roared wildly. 

My throat tightened against the screech that pounded on my larynx, scratching and bleeding.

"Please Goten." His voice was strangely soothing and I fought down the urge to scream.

"Tr....Trunks...I…I love you, God I love you so much." My voice cracked with pain as I admitted the truth: finally the truth. The look in his eyes was unreadable and panic suddenly joined into the mix of emotional turmoil that has plagued me for years.

"Oh God Trunks! Please don't be disgusted with me! I didn't mean for this to happen! I don't even remember when it did, I'm so sorry..."

"Goten..."

"No, I know you don't feel the same way, how could you? I know you like girls and I'm sure you'll find someone some day. I'll do my very best to find someone else, even though I don't think I could, but don't feel obligated to me ok!..."

"Goten...."

"The only reason why I didn't tell you is because I though it would push us apart! That's not what I wanted, you're still my best friend, although I doubt you'd still want me be around me after this..."

"GOTEN!"

I looked up at him then, a large lump growing in my throat as I shivered.

"What?"

He stepped before me, arms draped nervously around my shoulders and I stiffened painfully. Dear Dende he's going to kill me!

He smirked at me and I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain that I knew was going to follow.

"Shut up."

I nearly jumped out of my skin as I felt something warm and soft lightly brush over my shivering lips. His tempered breath pushed rapidly again my trembling mouth, betraying him and revealing his nervousness. He felt like velvet and silk, sensuously pressing against my skin and the hairs on my arms bristled with the spark of electrical heat that coursed through my blood, and flashed in the night sky. 

He's Kissing me!....He's really REALLY KISSING ME!!!

I couldn't move. The intensity of the moment hammered at my feet, locking me in place as his lips roamed shakily over my own. I took in a ragged breath when his fingers stroked at my cheek, gently urging my chin up. His touch was warm, soft and revealing, much like I always hoped it would be and I could feel my desire for the man growing inside me. 

I panted as he broke away, gazing into my foggy, bloodshot eyes as his arms tightened around my neck.

"See, now that wasn't so hard was it."

I blinked in utter confusion, staring at him like he'd just grown another head. He caught the looked in my eye and leaned forward, resting his cheek against mine, forcing his breath against my ear.

"And how do you love me?"

I gasped and my shoulders tensed with the warm words that coursed across my cold, red lobe. 

"Please don't tease me Trunks."

He hugged me to him, pressing his body tightly against mine and gently caressing my back and shoulders in an attempt to ease my tension.

"I'm not teasing you Goten. You were so preoccupied with your own emotions that, for the first time since I've known you, you failed to see mine."

I still couldn't move from the shock of it all. I felt frozen, and the rain that continued to drip down my face only contributed to the chill that ran through me. I shivered, and he nuzzled his lips against my ear, pulling me into a warmer embrace. His scent rose off him like steam, his unique smell was all I ever wanted, but there was something strange about it this time. I nearly choked as I recognized the potent tang of desire swirling around his fragrance.

"Chibi, I love you too."


End file.
